


Breathe Me

by w00t4ewan



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, Fluff, Mental Health Issues, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-01
Updated: 2016-07-01
Packaged: 2018-07-19 08:49:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 24,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7354111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/w00t4ewan/pseuds/w00t4ewan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Emily moves to a new high school she is intrigued by the quiet blonde who is struggling with her own demons.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Autumn

**Author's Note:**

> This story turns one year old this month. It's been published as a book but I think it's important to share, therefore I'm republishing it for free here. Enjoy.

Emily took a deep breath before making her way through the doors of her new high school. She was so used to bouncing around from school to school. Since her mother was an Ambassador they moved more frequently than Emily liked but she appreciated all of the interesting places she had lived. She looked around the hallway at all of her new classmates and sighed. It was the first time she had ever attended a public school and the only reason for that was she had begged her mother to let her go for her senior year. She had always thought the idea of a public school to be new and exciting, now she had her chance to find out.

She felt the stares as she walked through the halls, she was extremely over dressed in her skirt and blazer. She tugged at the hem of her jacket as she adjusted her satchel. She finally found the office and explained she was new to the school. The secretary was kind with warm eyes and gave her a class schedule and pointed her in the right direction. Emily had always gotten along better with adults than teens her own age, she had always been sort of a loner when it came to making friends and she didn't know if that would change in her new environment.

She was taking all advanced classes due to the difference in curriculum between schools abroad and the American school system, which made her feel like even more of a nerd. Her first class was advanced placement literature where she instantly became bored when she realized the teacher was teaching something she had studied two years prior. Every time her teacher would ask a question Emily already knew the answer but kept her hand down from fear of being seen as a know it all on her first day. English was followed by advanced anatomy and physiology, science had always been her weakest subject.

Emily entered the class and was immediately aware of the whispers about "that weird new girl". She looked around and began to take a seat at a lab table near the middle of the room but the blonde boy next to her looked at her sharply and declared "seat's taken." She anxiously played with the hem of her blazer and looked around as the class filled up. She saw an empty table at the back of the room and took her place right as the bell rang.

The teacher entered the class and quited the students who were all catching up with each other about what they had spent their summers doing and so forth. Emily unzipped her satchel and took out a notebook and pen. Mr Graves wrote his name on the board and sat on the lab desk situated at the front of the class.

"Welcome to advanced A&P, if you took this class thinking it would be easy, there's the door I advise you to gather your things and leave," he motioned at the door just as a young blonde entered the room. She went red with embarrassment as all eyes of the class were upon her. Mr Graves looked at her sternly, "You're late."

"Yeah, I had to umm," the blond murmured but Mr Graves did not seem to care the reason.

"Take a seat, Ms Jareau, before you further interrupt my class."

The blonde nodded and walked through the room. Emily noticed the snickers and whispers as the blond passed table after table making her way to the back of the room. A brunette boy in a letterman jacket stuck his foot out and before she had a chance to see it the blonde tripped and fell face first to the floor dropping the books she had been holding tightly to her chest.

"Watch where you're going CRAY Jay!" the boy shouted as the class erupted into laughter.

The petite blonde took a deep breath and gathered her books as she shuffled to the seat next to Emily without looking up.

"Are you okay?" Emily whispered.

The blonde simply nodded without making eye contact. "I'm fine."

Mr Graves cleared his throat, "Excuse me ladies. Am I interrupting or may I continue?"

Emily and the blonde blushed and went quiet. The rest of the class Emily took notes down as quickly as possible to keep up with Mr Graves. When the bell sounded she gathered her things and looked over to her table mate.

"I'm Emily," she smiled as she put her hand out happily.

"Cray...erm, JJ" the blond replied as she shook Emily's hand timidly.

"Nice to meet you," Emily smiled warmly. "Is Mr Graves always that rude?"

JJ shrugged, "He just doesn't like me from last year, I guess."

"You took this class already?" Emily asked in confusion.

"Sort of," JJ replied. She shoved her books in her backpack and turned to go. "It was nice to meet you too."

Next was honors French, which Emily already spoke fluently along with 5 other languages. Emily had no trouble following Dr Simpson as she spoke quickly in French. Emily enjoyed finding a class she knew she wouldn't have to work at to make good grades. After French the bell rang indicating it was time for lunch.

Emily made her way to the cafeteria slowly. She was used to not sitting with anyone during lunch so she had packed a sandwich and an apple to take into the courtyard for some fresh air.

"Excuse me, where do you think you're going?" a teacher asked as Emily made her way outside.

"To lunch?"

"All students must eat in the cafeteria. There are no off campus lunches allowed," the teacher scorned.

"I wasn't trying to leave. I just wanted to sit outside," Emily said politely.

"You must stay inside the cafeteria."

"Yes ma'am," Emily sighed. She made her way to the cafeteria and looked around. There were hundreds of students, far more than any of her classes at boarding school. Not to mention she had never been in a coed environment before. She felt her heart race as she looked around the large sea of tables. In the far corner of the cafeteria she saw a familiar face and made a bee line to the table.

"Can I sit with you?" Emily asked the blonde.

JJ looked up from her book in confusion. "What?"

"Can I sit here?" Emily motioned at the empty seat.

"Why?" JJ asked still not seeming to understand the question fully.

"I need somewhere to eat lunch and they won't let me go outside."

JJ finally moved her backpack from the table to the floor and pulled the chair next to her out so Emily could sit down. "Sure, if you want to be seen with me."

Emily didn't understand the comment but she sat down anyway. She pulled out the sandwich which had been prepared for her by her mother's personal chef and looked closely at it. Turkey, provolone, lettuce, tomato, pickle and mustard on wheat. She preferred chicken but she was hungry and not in a position to be picky. She looked over and realized JJ didn't have a lunch in front of her.

"Do you want part of my sandwich?" Emily offered the shy blonde.

JJ looked up from her book again and shook her head, "Not hungry."

Emily ate in silence as JJ read. Emily rather enjoyed the arrangement seeing as she was rather shy herself and she was grateful to get a break from everyone asking her a bombardment of questions. Her first few classes had been a mix of rolling eyes and questions about what it's like to be a "boarding school drop out". By third period she had just stopped trying to introduce herself to anyone.

Just before lunch was over JJ grabbed her bag from the floor, "I'll see you around."

Emily nodded but before she could finish swallowing and thank JJ for sharing her a table, JJ had already rounded the corner down the hallway. There was still ten minutes left of lunch and Emily couldn't help but feel like maybe she had offended the blonde in some way. She sure hoped not because so far JJ was the only student to be kind to her in any way.

Her final class of the day was calculus and she was not looking forward to it. Next to science, math was her least favorite subject. At least she was interested in science she just wasn't very good at it. Math and Emily were sworn enemies. She was one of the first students in the room and sat down at a middle desk. She was too busy looking at all of the posters on the wall to notice JJ sit down next to her.

"Looks like we have this to suffer through together as well," JJ laughed.

"Yeah, I hate math."

"Me too," JJ admitted. "Although I'm okay at it I guess."

"Ms Jareau, glad to see you again this year," the teacher said as he wrote his name across the marker board.

"Oh look, junkie Jareau has a boyfriend," a girl laughed next to JJ. A few students around them started hooting and making kissing faces in JJ's general direction. JJ slunk into her seat and blushed.

"They're idiots," Emily whispered as she gently patted JJ on the arm. JJ went stiff and jerked her arm back as if she had been burned. The sudden motion startled Emily just as much as everyone around them.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" JJ screamed as she curled her legs into her chest protectively.

"I'm sorry...I..." Emily looked at the blonde in total confusion.

"Yeah, don't touch the freak she may be contagious!" a boy laughed.

"That's enough. That's enough," Mr Townsend warned. He lowered his voice and walked to JJ's desk, "Are you okay?"

She nodded while choking back tears, "I'm fine."

He accepted it and moved on. The rest of the class Emily wondered what she had done wrong as she watched JJ shaking in her chair with her folded legs never leaving her chest. Emily was so concerned with the blonde when the bell rang she realized she had barely taken any notes.

The students rushed out the door as soon as the bell sounded. Emily lagged behind, still not taking her eyes off of JJ who had yet to move from her protective position.

"I'm really sorry," Emily said in earnest. "I didn't mean to..."

"Yeah whatever," JJ said through gritted teeth. Emily looked at Mr Townsend for guidance but he seemed like this was a completely normal occurrence and simply smiled and motioned toward the door. Emily took the cue and walked outside the class. She stood in the hallway nearby and tried to listen to Mr Townsend over the roar of students in the hallway making their way home for the day.

"Jennifer, are you alright?"

"Yeah," JJ stated softly.

"Are you ready to leave or do you need a minute?"

"Can I just sit here for a minute?" JJ asked him.

"Sure, I'll be in the teacher's lounge next door," he said gently. He exited the room and nearly knocked Emily over from her position near the door. He looked at her suspiciously before lowering his voice, "She'll be okay. She just needs a minute to collect herself."

Emily wanted to badly to apologize for obviously making JJ uncomfortable but she nodded in understanding. She went to her locker and put her books away. Her first day of public school was nothing like she had expected and she was not looking forward to what the next day had in store for her.

Days passed and soon the leaves began to change color as September came to a close and autumn peeked over the horizon. Emily had fallen behind in math and science nearly immediately and although her mother offered to get her a private tutor she had opted for someone she knew and trusted. JJ had already taken the classes the year before but for reasons Emily didn't fully understand and didn't want to pry about, JJ was repeating the course work the current year.

Emily suspected she had been held back a year because once on the rare occurrence that JJ had mentioned something personal about herself she had let slip her 19th birthday would be coming up in March. Emily didn't care about the reason she was just grateful to have JJ tutor her, both because she needed the academic help and also because she was enjoying their time together. JJ was a complete mystery to Emily and that intrigued her. JJ didn't really have friends and Emily had only become close with a few of her classmates. To Emily, JJ often seemed in a world of her own. She was funny, creative and simply brilliant and Emily couldn't figure out for the life of her why the other students seemed to give JJ such a hard time.

The pair were studying in the library together one afternoon when Emily noticed a few boys a table over whispering and pointing in their general direction. Emily ignored them and continued to try and pay attention to her work but she noticed JJ go stiff. It was the same uncomfortable stillness Emily had witnessed on the first day of school when she had mistakenly tried to comfort the blonde. JJ shook her head a few times as if to clear away something Emily couldn't see before returning to her book. The boys got bored and left eventually leaving the study room empty other than the two girls. Emily worked tirelessly at her homework but she looked up to find JJ lost in her own world. There were times Emily could tell JJ had checked out of her reading and was focusing on something else. Something Emily couldn't see or hear but it seemed to be very real to JJ.

"Shut up!" JJ whispered into the empty room.

"Are you okay?" Emily whispered but JJ sat in her chair perfectly still. "JJ?"

JJ seemed fixated on something Emily could not hear. She sat alert with her hands over her ears as she shook her head back and forth.

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" JJ repeated until her voice had rose to a loud whisper. Emily looked around in confusion. The room was quiet.

"JJ no one said anything, " Emily urged softly. Just then a group of sophomores entered the room and began to settle in to a nearby table.

"I CAN HEAR YOU TALKING!" JJ yelled as she cupped her hands over her ears. "I SAID SHUT UP!"

Emily looked at her worriedly, "JJ it's okay. There's no one talking."

"NO I CAN HEAR THEM! YOU'RE ALL PLOTTING AGAINST ME!" JJ was out of her chair and frantically pacing at this point. Whatever she was hearing was getting worse and Emily was concerned. The group of sophomores began to giggle and point rudely as JJ began to yell into the otherwise silent room. "I CAN HEAR YOU! STOP TALKING! SHUT UP!"

Emily attempted to approach JJ slowly, "Jayje, it's okay. Do you want me to get someone?"

JJ ignored her as her pacing sped up and she began to yell incessantly at things Emily couldn't comprehend. Emily slowly reached out her hand and paused before making contact with the blonde, as if to ask for permission. JJ didn't notice Emily had closed the distance and as soon as Emily rested a hand on her shoulder JJ lost it. In one swift movement she had shrugged Emily's hand off her shoulder and swung a fist which made impact square against Emily's cheek. Emily fell to the ground from the force of the punch. The altercation set JJ off as she continued to rant about someone talking about her.

"YOU CAN'T KILL ME YOU CAN'T! STOP TRYING TO KILL ME!" JJ turned and focused on the other group of students in the room and the students from the rest of the library who had come to see what the commotion was about. She yelled at then "YOU CAN'T FUCKING KILL ME!" as she threw her chair across the room.

Emily picked herself up off the floor and looked back at the growing crowd, "Someone call the for help! Stop standing there!"

Emily saw the librarian and the school nurse emerge from the onlookers. The nurse slowly approached JJ with a calming tone, "Jennifer. Jennifer, it's me Nurse Whitley. You need to take your medication"

"NO YOU'RE TRYING TO POISON ME! YOU'RE TRYING TO KILL ME" JJ screamed back.

The librarian came to Emily's side and pulled her to her feet. She positioned herself in front of Emily and slowly increased the distance between them and the quickly deteriorating JJ.

JJ was raging. She threw the books off the table in one swift motion between declarations that she would not be poisoned.

"Jennifer, it's not real. I need you to calm down and come with me," Nurse Whitley gently explained. By this time campus security had showed up and made their way into the room.

One of the officers made his way to JJ from behind her while the other closed in from in front, very nearly missing a text book to the head. The officer from behind grabbed JJ's arms and restrained her long enough to slip zip ties over her wrists.

JJ let out a loud shriek as she began kicking and bucking wildly in the restraints. "THEY'RE GOING TO KILL ME! PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME! THEY'RE TRYING TO POISON ME!" she was sobbing now as she fought the officer who was trying to hold her still.

Nurse Whitley swooped in and pulled a bottle of pills from her scrub pocket. She shook out two and calmly explained, "Jennifer, I need you to take these" JJ closed her mouth and shook her head from side to side but the second officer restrained her long enough for Nurse Whitley to administer the medication.

"Alright, show's over. Everyone return to class," the librarian, Mrs Redmond, warned the large group of students who had been watching the fiasco unfold. "You too Ms Prentiss"

Emily was in total shock by the whole event. She was standing near the door but her eyes had never left the blonde, "Please, I want to make sure she's okay" Emily pleaded. Mrs Redmond caught the sincerity in her eyes and nodded. She then continued to disperse the rest of the students out of the study room.

It was the officers, the nurse and the two girls. JJ had stopped struggling and seemed to go nearly limp to the floor.

"What happened?" Nurse Whitley asked as Emily cautiously approached her friend.

"We were just studying and she just went off, it all happened so quickly."

"She'll be alright now. We'll let her rest in the nurses station while we wait for her parents to come pick her up," she smiled reassuringly at Emily, "You didn't do anything wrong. But you should come get some ice for that shiner"

Emily had been so worried about JJ she hadn't even felt the searing pain in her cheek until the nurse mentioned it. Once she was aware of it the pain was throbbing through her swollen cheek. Emily nodded in understanding. The officers helped JJ stand up and cut the restraints from her wrists as they walked her out of the room.

Emily followed silently down the hallway behind them. Swarms of students pointed and whispered, watching JJ walk through the halls with campus security. Some of them had their phones out snapping pictures while others chanted "Cray Jay! Cray Jay!"

The officers laid JJ down on one of the beds and pulled the privacy curtain around her. She was completely sedated and seemed to drift off to sleep almost immediately. Emily sat on the bench in the office and the nurse brought her an ice pack for her face.

"Is she okay?" Emily asked quietly. "I mean one minute we were studying and the next she was just screaming and I didn't know what to do."

"She's safe now. Jennifer is a kind girl but she doesn't know her own strength when she's episodic. I'm sure she didn't mean to hurt you," Nurse Whitley assured.

"Oh, I'm fine. I'm just worried about her."

"The medication will help, she'll feel better when she wakes up," the older woman smiled and patted Emily's knee before returning to her desk to call JJ's parents.

Emily stayed in the nurses office next to JJ's bed until Sandy Jareau arrived 45 minutes later. She spoke in private with Nurse Whitley before making her way to JJ's bed.

"She'll be okay dear," Sandy said to Emily who had been holding the blonde's hand timidly. "What's your name?"

"Emily, Emily Prentiss"

Sandy Jareau extended her hand and shook Emily's firmly. "JJ has told me a lot about you, Emily. You're a good friend for staying here with her"

"I just wanted to be sure she's alright," Emily admitted.

"Thank you," Sandy smiled and Emily could tell from the softness in her eyes that she genuinely meant it. "Well we should be going"

Sandy gently woke JJ up and draped a lax arm around her shoulders as she walked her daughter out of the office. Emily sat down and held the ice pack to her face, it was going to leave a bruise but she didn't mind. She only cared that her friend was going to be alright after such an ordeal.

Later that evening Emily was laying on her bed listening to her favorite play list when she heard her cell phone ring from downstairs. The first ring went by, then the second and soon a third. Emily rolled off the bed and trotted downstairs. She picked up her phone but didn't recognize the number.

"Hello?"

"Umm, is Emily there?" asked a shaky voice.

"This is Emily."

"Emily, it's JJ."

"JJ! Are you okay? I've been so worried about you," Emily admitted as she sunk into the couch, clutching the phone to her ear.

"That's why I called. I'm really sorry I punched you. It's okay if you don't want to hang out anymore, I'd understand," JJ's voice was trembling as if she was choking back tears. Emily paused for a moment and realized the thought had never even crossed her mind. She had been so worried about JJ all day she hadn't even thought about the fact she got punched in the face. She subconsciously cupped her swollen cheek with her free hand.

"Jayje, I'm fine! Why wouldn't I want to hang out with you?"

"You probably think I'm crazy, like everyone else," JJ confessed.

"I don't think you're crazy. I don't really know what happened, but I don't think you're crazy. I just want to make sure you're okay. I was really scared for you today," Emily replayed what had happened in the library in her mind. She thought about the piercing screams JJ had let out when security had restrained her and it broke her heart.

"I had what's called an episode," JJ took a deep breath trying to find the right words to explain what had occurred. "I have what's called psychosis and what the doctors think is early onset schizophrenia. I hear voices and have hallucinations sometimes. I take medication for it, that's why I'm always late to science and why I have to leave early from lunch. It's why everyone calls me Cray Jay. Last year before I was diagnosed I had a really bad episode in the middle of lunch and ended up threatening Hannah Montgomery with a pair of scissors. I was basically holding them against her throat because I thought she was trying to kill me. It took two security guards and the football coach to subdue me. The entire school saw. I got suspended and my parents checked me into a mental hospital. I missed most of second semester, that's why I'm repeating the year. They wouldn't let me graduate. A lot of kids filmed what happened and it ended up on YouTube over the summer. I begged my parents to let me switch schools but they don't make enough to pay for private school and there's no way for me to go to Hullen High because I have to ride the bus to school," JJ sighed deeply and waited for the inevitable.

"JJ, I had no idea," Emily replied honestly.

"So it's okay if you don't want to be my friend. I don't blame you. I'm not very good company, especially since I punched you."

"JJ, stop. Of course I'm still your friend. I don't know anything about psychosis or schizophrenia but I'm willing to learn. I'm sorry you've been through all of that. Kids can be really shitty. You deserve so much better. I'm not going anywhere, okay? I think you're absolutely brilliant and you're really the only friend I have at school. This doesn't change that. I just wish you had told me sooner so maybe I would have known what to do today. I'm really sorry. How can I help you?" There was a long silence and Emily checked to make sure the phone was still connected. "JJ?"

"Yeah, I'm here," came the reply so soft that Emily nearly missed it. Emily could hear JJ was crying.

"Why are you crying?"

Another long pause. "I just, no one has ever asked me that before," JJ admitted through ragged breaths.

"Asked you what?"

"How they could help me," JJ explained. "I don't ever talk about this with anyone because everyone usually avoids me at all costs. Everyone just treats me like I'm contagious or like I'm going to hurt them. No one has ever stuck around after they've seen the real me."

Emily's heart sank. "I promise you don't scare me. I want to help you, in whatever way I can. You said you take medication. Does that help? What caused the episode today? If I'm being to nosey you can tell me."

"No, it's okay. I've been okay for a while since I got out of the hospital but my doctor changed my medications recently. I'm on a high dose of lithium right now and I have to get my blood taken every couple of weeks to monitor the level. That's where my other nickname comes from, junkie Jareau. Kids see the bruises and have assumed the worst. I thought this new medication was working until today. I have been hearing voices again for a couple of days but never said anything, then today they just became so loud I couldn't take it anymore."

"Do you hear them now?" Emily asked. "Again, if I'm prying please tell me."

"I basically hear them all the time, sometimes they're louder than others. The medication keeps them at a white noise level to where I can function and they don't bother me. One of the side effects of Lithium is auditory hallucinations," JJ explained.

"Wait, so the medication you take because you hear voices can cause voices?" Emily asked perplexed.

"I know, it sounds backwards. The medications work differently for everyone who takes them. Brain chemistry is so unique that certain things can help one person and make another worse. I apparently got the latter. My parents are worried. They want to send me to the hospital again to get my medications straightened out in a safe environment. I really don't want to go but after what happened today, I mean god Emily, I punched you! My parents are worried I'm going to hurt someone else or myself," JJ tried to catch her breath to keep from sobbing.

"Do you think it will help? Going to the hospital?"

"I don't know. I am just so tired of dealing with all of this," JJ lost it completely and Emily listened as JJ cried into the receiver. Emily heard a voice in the background before JJ whispered into the phone, "I've got to go. Thank you Emily"

Before Emily could ask why she was being thanked the line went dead. She sat on the couch staring at the wall going over the new information. She wished JJ had told her from the beginning but she understood why it was so difficult for her to talk about it. Emily made her way back to her room and got on her laptop. She began to Google schizophrenia and spent the rest of the night doing research about the illness. It was well past midnight when her mother came in her room and made her get ready for bed. Emily picked up her phone before she settled into her bed and sent JJ a text.

"I'm glad you called me. I'm here for you."

The next day Emily was eager to see JJ at school. She had written down a few questions she wanted to ask and hoped that JJ could help her better understand. Emily wanted to know as much as she could about JJ's condition so she was better prepared on how to help if JJ had another episode at school. The last thing she wanted was for JJ to get hurt when she was going through something so frightening. Emily made it through literature and got to Mr Graves class early so she could talk to her friend. She sat anxiously before she remembered what JJ had said, she would be late because she had to take her medication. Emily reread some things she had jotted down the night before as the bell rang. Class started but JJ never came. Emily took notes so she could share with JJ later. She text JJ again between classes but there was no reply. French, then lunch, then calculus and JJ was no where to be found. As soon as the final bell rang Emily called JJ's number but it went straight to voice mail.

The another day came and went and still JJ was no where to be found. Emily wished she knew how to contact JJ's parents or maybe if she knew where she lived, but in their month of tutoring they had rarely talked about anything too personal. Emily understood now why JJ had been so secretive but she was going mad with worry. She was on her way to third period when she passed a group in the hallway that caught her attention. 

"Hey Jareau," a girl said.

Emily whipped around so fast she nearly lost her balance but instead of finding the girl talking to JJ she found a tall blonde boy with familiar blue eyes. Emily knew from one look at him that he must be JJ's little brother.

"You're JJ's brother?" she asked quickly.

"Yeah, why?" the boy looked at her suspiciously.

"I just haven't seen her in a couple of days and I haven't been able to get her to call or text me back. I'm worried about her," Emily admitted.

"You must be Emily. I'm Thomas," he extended his hand and Emily shook it. "JJ is doing okay. My folks just wanted to keep her home for a couple of days after what happened. Sorry I was suspicious at first, most people who ask about JJ have ill intentions."

"I understand, I'm glad she's okay."

"If you want you can come over after school to see her," Thomas smiled as Emily's face lit up. "Here, let me write down our address."

He did so and handed Emily the slip of paper. "Thank you so much," Emily smiled as she bounded off down the hallway.

The rest of the day dragged on painfully slow. Emily could barely concentrate on anything other than getting to see JJ. Once the bell rang she put her books away in her locker and headed to her car. She plugged the address into her GPS and was on her way. Fifteen minutes later she pulled up in front of a small brick house with a large front porch. She parked out front and made her way through the gate, nervously fixing her hair as she walked up the path. She rang the doorbell and waited.

Sandy answered the door with a smile, "Emily, how nice to see you."

"Hello, Mrs Jareau. Is JJ up to having a bit of company? I guess I should have called first, I understand if she's resting."

"No, I think a bit of company will do her good. Please, come in," Sandy opened the door and Emily followed her inside.

The house was a lot larger on the inside than it appeared from the front. Sandy called up the stairs for JJ and the blonde poked out from the hallway.

"Emily?"

"Hey Jayje," Emily smiled.

JJ rushed down the stairs and nearly tackled Emily with a hug. It was the first time Emily remembered them hugging and she embraced the blonde happily. "Come on up to my room," JJ offered.

Emily followed her upstairs and into her bedroom. They sat opposite each other on JJ's bed as Emily stared up at the plastic stars decorating the ceiling.

"How did you even find my house?" JJ asked.

"I met Thomas today at school. I never knew you had a brother!"

"I have three," JJ chuckled realizing they had never talked about family before. "What about you?"

"Only child," Emily stated flatly. She had always wished for brothers and sisters but her parents split up when she was very young and her mother never remarried due to her busy life as an Ambassador.

"So what brings you here? Did you have an instant crush on Thomas like all the other girls at school?" JJ laughed awkwardly, her brother was on the football team and ran in a totally different circle. Other than the two of them looking alike no one would ever guess otherwise that they were related.

"What? Thomas? No way!" Emily chuckled. "I came to check up on you. I have missed you at school."

"Yeah, I'm going back tomorrow. My parents just wanted to make sure I am a bit more stable before throwing me back to the wolves," JJ absent mindedly played with her hair as she spoke.

Emily caught her up on what she had missed in class and gave her a copy of all of her notes for the past two days. JJ was beside herself with gratitude. No one had ever been so kind to her without wanting anything in return. She had never really had a friend since she had been diagnosed but now she couldn't stop smiling at this dorky brunette who would go off on tangents about their teachers and what they served for lunch yesterday. JJ loved listening to Emily talk about the smallest things that she found odd, coming from a lifetime of boarding school.

Sandy appeared in the doorway, "Emily, would you like to stay for dinner?"

JJ gently nudged Emily's arm, "You should. We're having homemade lasagna and mom is the best cook!"

"I would love to, thank you," Emily nodded as she felt her stomach rumble. She bit her lip as she tried to find a segue into a more serious conversation. "So, after you called me the other night I did some research and I have a couple of questions. Only if you're up for it and only if you feel comfortable with me asking."

JJ laughed, she couldn't believe Emily had gone through the trouble of doing research about her illness. 'What an overachiever' JJ thought as she smiled warmly, "Ask me anything."

Emily began to rattle off what she had learned about schizophrenia and JJ was rather impressed. Emily asked questions here and there during their conversation and JJ was happy to answer to the best of her ability. After an hour Emily felt well prepared in case JJ had another break from reality while they were together. She closed her notebook and looked at JJ thoughtfully, "JJ, you're really a great person. I'm sorry you have to deal with this."

"Thanks, Emily."

Sandy called up that dinner was ready and the girls rushed downstairs to the kitchen. Emily got to meet the rest of the Jareau clan at dinner. JJ's dad and her other brothers welcomed her warmly to their home. They all had conversations about school and Emily learned Mr Jareau was a teacher at the middle school. One of JJ's older brothers worked at the local nursery and her other brother was taking a year off before college to study abroad in France. He and Emily had long conversations in French that made the rest of the family groan at their intellect.

"Emily, are you going to the fall formal with anyone?" Mr Jareau asked.

"I've never been to a real school dance before," Emily admitted as she helped clear the table.

"Neither have I," JJ told her. "I've never had a date."

"We could go together if you want," Emily offered.

"Lesbians," Thomas whispered out of ear shot of his parents. JJ turned around from the sink where she was doing the dishes and splashed him with water.

"I would like to go to at least one dance before I graduate," JJ replied. "I've just been too afraid to be in a social environment with the kids from school."

"Well we can look out for each other," Emily smiled. "I'm not a very good dancer though. And besides, if it's boring we can just go to the movies or something."

"I think that sounds like a great plan," Mr Jareau suggested.

"Ok, fine. We can go," JJ rolled her eyes.

The following Saturday Emily drove to the Jareau's to pick up JJ. She had borrowed one of her mother's ball gowns and some diamond jewelry to match. The dress was a midnight blue floor length gown with rhinestone shoulder straps. She was wearing a tear drop necklace with matching earrings and her mother had done her hair up in a fancy updo. She smoothed her dress as she rang the doorbell.

Thomas answered in his oxford and slacks, his jaw dropped when he saw Emily. "Shit, Emily! You look hot!"

Emily blushed, she had hoped she wasn't overdressed but she appreciated the compliment. "Is JJ ready?"

"Yeah, let me get here. Come in, my date is already here and the 'rents want pics."

Thomas called up to JJ as Emily introduced herself to his date. JJ came down the stairs and Emily swore that time slowed as she glided effortlessly in a dark violet knee length dress with black trim. Her hair was down and Emily couldn't remember the last time she saw it out of a ponytail. JJ was wearing black strappy heels and looked stunning.

"Wow," Emily mouthed as JJ came to the bottom of the stairs and did a spin showing off her dress.

"Wow youreself!" JJ exclaimed as she took Emily's hand above her head and twirled her in a circle.

Mrs Jareau took a ton of pictures of the four of them before finally letting them go. "Be careful! Home by midnight!" she reminded as the teens made their way to their respective cars.

Emily opened JJ's car door and shut it behind her. "What a gentleman," JJ joked.

They arrived at the school and JJ turned to Emily with a serious tone on her face, "Emily, I'm sorry in advance if I have to bail. I don't do so well in social situations but my mom insisted that I come."

"It's okay, Jayje. If it gets to be too much just let me know and we can go back to my place and hang out or something. It's really not a problem. My mother was just happy to see me in a dress," Emily laughed.

They made their way inside the school and were instantly stunned at how the cafeteria had been transformed into a dance floor with twinkling white lights adorning every fixture. There was a red carpet leading down the hallway to the photograph station and there was even a coat check. On the other side in the cafeteria annex they had refreshments and tables laid out where a bunch of students were hanging out and talking.

Emily looked around at all of the girls wearing crosages and frowned, "I guess I was supposed to get you flowers."

"Those stupid things?" JJ scoffed. "I've never understood the point of wearing flowers on your wrist."

Emily smiled and took JJ by the hand, "May I have this dance m'lady?"

"Why of course!" JJ giggled with an over dramatic curtsey.

They took the dance floor and found their own corner to hang out in. Emily had never heard most of the songs the DJ played but JJ seemed to be enjoying herself. They had a great time dancing in their little niche before one of the cheerleaders came over.

"Did you get a day pass from the loony bin, JJ?" she asked rudely.

JJ turned her back and tried to ignore the petulant blonde. Emily shot the girl a warning glare over JJ's shoulder but she was trying to pick a fight.

"I'm surprised you didn't come in a straight jacket," the girl mocked.

"Go away Rebecca," JJ scolded.

"Where'd you get that dress Jareau? The flea market?" Rebecca's date joined in.

"Leave her alone you guys," Emily asked sternly.

"Oh is this your dyke girlfriend?" the boy asked.

Emily's blood boiled at that remark. "I'm asking you nicely to leave us alone."

"Or what?" Rebecca asked. "What are you going to do, Prep school drop out?"

Emily's hand clenched to a fist but before she could swing JJ grabbed her arm, "It's not worth it. Let's just go."

Emily gritted her teeth and nodded. They had just turned their backs on Rebecca and her boyfriend when he called out.

"Fucking retarded faggots."

In one motion Emily turned and closed the distance, she shoved the bottom of her palm forcefully until she her a loud snap. The blood came instantly and she knew she had broken the boy's nose. JJ grabbed her arm while he was still in shock and urged her to run. They bolted from the cafeteria and ran through the parking lot all the way back to Emily's car.

"Holy fucking shit! I cannot believe you just broke Randell Turlington's nose!" JJ laughed as they got in the car.

Emily blushed, "I'm going to be in such deep shit."

JJ turned and took Emily's face in her hands and their eyes locked. "You're my hero, Emily." she closed the distance and kissed Emily on the lips quickly before pulling away.

Emily turned a new shade of scarlet as she started the car and pulled away from the school, "So we still have all night. What do you want to do?"

"We could go to the park and make out?" JJ smiled as she squeezed Emily's hand.

"What?" Emily asked with a stammer.

"God, Emily. I'm only joking. Let's go to the park, it's really nice at night."

JJ told her directions and Emily pulled into the park. They made their way to the playground and sat on the swings.

"I can't believe you did that," JJ repeated. "No one outside of my brothers has ever stood up for me before."

"You deserve to be stood up for, JJ," Emily stated honestly. "Besides, that jerk had it coming.Randell Turlington? Sounds like one of my mother's dignitary friends."

JJ laughed. "You really are something else, Ms Prentiss."

They spent the next two hours sitting on the swings talking about everything and nothing all at once. Emily loved how comfortable she felt talking to JJ. They talked about all the places Emily had lived and what it was like to go to an all girl's boarding school and how Emily wasn't close to her mother at all. JJ recounted what it was like growing up as the only girl in a house of testosterone and how she had basically been bullied her whole life. They came from entirely different backgrounds but there was something that brought them together. Around 11:30pm they made their way back to the car, Emily opened JJ's door out of habit and JJ laughed at her again.

On the way back to JJ's house JJ slipped her hand in Emily's and laid her head on Emily's shoulder. Emily's heart skipped a beat as she drove. They drove in silence, simply enjoying being near to one another until they reached JJ's house. Emily walked JJ to the door and JJ planted a quick kiss on Emily's cheek before heading inside. Emily walked back to her car with a huge grin. It had turned out to be the perfect night and Emily couldn't have wished for better company.


	2. Winter

Emily rolled over and fumbled for her phone in the dark. She looked at the caller ID and her heart skipped a beat. She answered sleepily. "JJ?" She tried to stifle a yawn as she sat up in bed.

"Emily?"

"I'm here," Emily whispered as to not wake the house. "JJ, what time is it? Are you okay?"

"It's late," JJ replied hesitantly. "I shouldn't have called. I'm sorry, go back to sleep."

Emily switched on the lamp next to her bed and looked at the clock, 2:30am. She yawned again, "No, it's fine. What's going on?"

"Well, I just, I can't sleep. I would usually go to Thomas but he's at a friend's house and I just feel really scared right now."

"Why are you scared?" Emily asked, rubbing her eyes to try and wake up a little bit.

"I can't explain it. I just feel like something bad is going to happen. I'm scared of my family, I think they're going to hurt me. I had a really bad panic attack already tonight and locked myself in my room but I can't sleep because I am so worried they'll come after me when I'm asleep," JJ choked on her words as Emily could hear her start to cry.

Emily was a little more alert now and held the phone close to her ear, "JJ, it's going to be okay. No one is going to hurt you. I'm sorry you feel like this, I really wish I knew what to say. How can I help you? What do you need?"

"Can you just talk to me?"

"Sure, what do you want to talk about?" Emily asked.

"Anything, just help distract me. I'm so scared Emily." with the last sentence came quiet sobbing from the other end of the phone line. Emily's heart broke hearing JJ cry, she wished she could help her feel better but she knew she needed to do more than just talk on the phone.

"Okay, how about I tell you a story?" Emily offered, as she slid off her bed and slipped on a pair of jeans.

JJ paused before asking, "What kind of story?"

"How about a fairy tale? Maybe JJ and the six sleepy kittens?" Emily smiled as she snuck downstairs, slipped on her boots and grabbed her keys. She zipped up her jacket and headed outside into the cold. 

"Emily, I'm not 5," JJ scolded. A moment passed before she continued, "But I do like kittens."

"Good, okay are you comfortable?" Emily questioned as she got into her car. "I mean are you somewhere safe?"

"I'm still in my room, I'm hiding in my closet. But I still don't feel safe."

"What if you go outside for some air? Do you think you can leave your closet? Only if you feel up to it," Emily said calmly.

"I could maybe sit on the roof outside my room," JJ realized, adding, "But it's cold."

"Okay? Take a blanket with you, wrap it tight around you so you feel secure. I think the night air will do you good, I'll wait until you get situated," Emily drove through the silent streets as she waited a few minutes for JJ to make her way to the roof. "Are you there?"

"I'm here, it's actually nice out tonight."

"And there's a full moon," Emily added. "Now I want you to focus on your breathing. Inhale and exhale, slowly, don't rush it." As she spoke Emily took deep breaths until she could hear JJ mimicking the sound.

"Okay, I think I'm ready for that story," JJ replied once she had found a soft breathing pattern.

Emily began her tale, "Once upon a time there was a princess name Jennifer Jareau. She was the most beautiful princess in all the land. She had hair the color of gold and eyes the color of sapphires. Her father was the mighty King Jareau who was known throughout the land for his stern ruling but he had the biggest soft spot for his daughter. He would do anything she asked of him

"Most beautiful princess?" JJ interrupted.

"This is my story, JJ. And yes, the most beautiful of princesses," Emily continued. " One day Jennifer was in town hiding from her Auntie Joan who had been going on and on about how Jennifer needed a husband. So Jennifer wore peasants clothes and went into the marketplace to get out of the castle. She was wandering through the streets taking in all of the sights and sounds when she realized she had gotten rather lost. She made a wrong turn and ended up in a dark alley way. She began to feel unsure but just as she turned to quickly make her way out of the shadows she heard a small noise. It was the tiniest noise if she hadn't been on high alert she would have missed it. She followed the sound and was surprised when she found a basket with a dirty old blanket over it. The contents of the basket stirred, startling her. But just then a pair of big blue eyes and fluffy ears popped their way out from under the blanket. Jennifer smiled and pulled the blanket away to find six sleepy kittens all curled up together for warmth. She knew they would starve if she left them so she scooped up the basket and made her way back to the castle. Upon arriving Jennifer was met by her good friend, Emily who had been living as a servant in the castle for as long as Jennifer could remember."

"I'm a princess and you're a servant?" 

"Shh, just let me tell it," Emily laughed. "Princess Jennifer showed Emily her basket of sleepy kittens and asked if she would hide them in the servant quarters until she could convince King Jareau to let her keep them.Emily agreed and took the basket. Jennifer returned to her room and changed back into her princess clothes and went to ask her father if she could have a kitten. She didn't mention she had a basket of kittens, she just asked if maybe she could get a kitten to keep her company since she was an only child and had no one to play with. King Jareau smiled and told his daughter she didn't need a kitten because it was too much responsibility for a young girl. Jennifer pouted and begged her father, promising she would look after it and care for it. The King found he could never say no to those big blue eyes. So he agreed she could have a kitten."

JJ chuckled, "To bad there are six!"

Emily continued as she pulled onto JJ's street, "Jennifer bounded down the stairs and out to the servant's quarters. She found Emily laying in a cuddle puddle of kittens. She relayed the good news that her father said she could keep them and Emily was so happy. She wished she too could have a kitten. Princess Jennifer said she could keep one to help catch the mice and Jennifer would hide the rest in her room. Emily asked why she would need to hide them if King Jareau said she could have them. And Jennifer sighed and told her she had fibbed. She only asked if she could have ONE kitten. So Emily came up with a plan to keep five of them to catch the mice and Jennifer could rotate which one got to sleep in the castle. Jennifer loved this plan. She and Emily spent the whole afternoon playing with the kittens in the garden. They named them: Gallahad, Aphrodite, Athena, Daisy, Dragon and Tumbles."

"Tumbles!" JJ laughed 

"From that day forward Jennifer was never without one of the kittens and Emily took care of the other five. King Jareau never realized the scam his daughter was pulling and everyone lived happily ever after," Emily finished as she parked. 

"That was adorable," JJ said softly, but then she went very quiet, "Emily, Emily I'm scared there's a car outside my house."

"Calm down, it's just me," Emily replied as she got out of her car and walked to where JJ could see her clearly. "I wanted to come make sure you were alright."

JJ watched as Emily hung up, sliding her phone in her pocket, then proceeded to climb the lattice on the side of the house until she was quietly sneaking across the roof to sit next to JJ.

"I cannot believe you came all the way over here!" JJ whispered as she threw her arms around Emily's neck. 

"I was just worried," Emily said earnestly. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm still really nervous, I mean I know I'm being illogical but I can't help it. I'm just scared to go to sleep."

"What if I stay with you?" Emily asked. "I can keep an eye out for you so you can rest."

JJ looked at her seriously, "Would you do that?"

"What are friends for?" Emily stood up and took JJ by the hand and lead her back through the window. She made JJ get into bed and tucked the covers around her snuggly. Emily laid on the bed next to JJ and wrapped her arms around the blonde, running her fingers through JJ's hair. JJ relaxed into Emily's embrace as Emily took long, slow breaths. Soon JJ's breathing synced to Emily's and she drifted off to sleep. Emily kept JJ close and hummed softly until she was sure JJ had fallen asleep. She reached over and turned off the night light before slipping off to sleep herself. 

The next morning JJ rolled over to find her best friend laying next to her, snoring rather loudly. JJ laughed as she nudged Emily's shoulder. Emily slowly opened her eyes and smiled, "How did you sleep?"

"Quite well, thanks to you," JJ smiled. 

"I'd do anything to help you out JJ, all you ever need to do is ask. I'm here for you, whenever you need me."

"You have no idea how much that means to me, Emily."

There was a knock on the door before Michael announced, "Breakfast is ready if you're hungry sis."

"Shit, should I go?" Emily asked quietly so Michael couldn't here. 

"I'm sure my parents have seen your car already, no need to be shy. Come down and have breakfast," JJ shrugged.

The girls made their way downstairs following the enticing scent of bacon and eggs. They came into the kitchen and Mr Jareau looked up from the stove and smiled, "Good morning girls. Emily, when did you get here?"

"She came over last night," JJ answered. Michael chuckled and made kissing faces at the girls behind his father's back. JJ flipped him her middle finger as they sat down at the table.

Mrs. Jareau entered the kitchen and kissed her husband good morning before pouring a cup of coffee, "Morning everyone. Emily darling, nice to see you."

Emily smiled politely, "Good morning, it's nice to see you too."

They ate breakfast and Michael invited the girls to go to the ice skating rink with him and his friends that afternoon. JJ begged Emily to join them, even though Emily insisted she should get home. 

"Come on Em, it's winter break. You're supposed to have fun! When was the last time you went ice skating?" JJ asked. 

"I've actually never been," Emily admitted as she felt the entire Jareau family stare at her. 

"You've never been ice skating?" Mr Jareau questioned out of disbelief. 

"I've never really lived anywhere cold enough during winter, I guess," Emily shrugged but she could tell there was no way for her to get out of going. 

She called her mother to check in and let her known all was fine. Elizabeth hadn't even noticed Emily was missing, she had just assumed her teenage daughter was sleeping in. Emily made a mental note to herself to sneak out more often. A couple of hours later Michael, JJ and Emily were bundled up and on their way to the ice rink near the mall. 

When they arrive Michael met up with his friends and left the girls on their own. They rented their skates and sat down on a nearby bench to lace them up. 

"I'm going to fall on my ass," Emily reminded as she slipped into her skates.

"Don't worry, I'll be there holding your hand the whole time." JJ followed through with her offer and took Emily by the hand as they walked awkwardly to the ice. Emily stepped onto the ice and nearly lost her balance but JJ caught her weight and helped her stand upright. "You can hold onto the rail if you need to, until you get the hang of it."

Emily did as she was told and put her free hand on the railing as she made small movements on the ice. JJ laughed at her and showed her how to do it. Michael and his friends skated by and laughed at Emily's obvious discomfort. For the second time that day JJ flipped her brother off. She held Emily steady and began to take longer strides on the ice. Emily followed JJ's movements and soon felt comfortable enough to let go of the railing. 

"Look! You're doing it!" JJ exclaimed happily. 

"If by doing it, you mean barely moving, then yes."

"It's okay to go slow, I'm in no hurry," JJ reminded as she felt Emily's hand tighten around hers. 

It took them a full thirty minutes to make one lap around the rink but JJ didn't mind. She thought it was the least she could do to repay Emily for coming to the rescue the night before. Their second lap went a little smoother as they picked up the pace and Emily finally found her own balance. 

"Race ya!" Michael called as he came from behind pushing the two girls ahead of him. 

"You're on!" JJ laughed. She looked to Emily who nodded for her to go ahead and JJ took off chasing Michael around the rink. Emily tried her best to move out of the way of oncoming traffic but ended up losing her footing, she went down right in the middle of oncoming skaters. There was a loud crack as a family of four nearly tripped over her where she had collapsed in a ball, crying. 

"Emily!" JJ called as she cut across the center of the ice to get to her friend. "Are you okay?"

"It's my ankle," Emily managed to get out between sobs. 

Michael and his friends rushed over and picked Emily up off the ice and got her to the benches. "We need to get your skate off," Michael suggested. Emily nodded as JJ unlaced the skate and tried to gently pull it off. Emily screamed in pain at even the slightest movement. 

"I think it's broken," JJ said as she looked at the swollen joint. "We need to get her to the hospital."

Michael and JJ took off their skates as one of the employees brought Emily an ice pack from the first aid kit. They had offered to call an ambulance but Emily refused. Michael had to carry her to the car as they headed off the the hospital. 

"Give me your phone so I can call your mom," JJ told Emily.

"No, it's fine. I don't want her to worry," Emily replied.

"Emily, we're taking you to the hospital. You should call your mom," Michael said looking over his shoulder to the back seat. 

Emily finally gave in and JJ called her mother to tell her what had happened and which hospital they were going to. Elizabeth thanked JJ for letting her know and asked to get an update once Emily had seen a doctor. 

"Is she going to meet us there?" Michael asked once JJ had hung up.

"No," JJ said shyly, "She just asked for updates. She said she had a meeting to go to but she would check her phone when she could."

"Typical," Emily rolled her eyes. Her relationship with her mother had never been that close. The Ambassador had always put her career ahead of raising her only child, even after Emily's father had left. Emily had basically been raised by tutors and house staff, so she was used to this type of behavior. JJ on the other hand had a few choice words about Elizabeth's reaction and Emily couldn't help but laugh at how cute JJ was when she was angry. 

They got to the ER and JJ brought a wheel chair to the car and helped Emily into it. They waited for an hour before the nurse called them back. JJ wheeled Emily to the examination room while Michael sat in the waiting room. The nurse took Emily's vitals and administered pain medication through an IV to help ease the pain. Another thirty minutes passed and there was a knock on the door. Mr, Mrs Jareau and Micahel made their way in the room.

"Oh, honey," Mrs Jareau sighed as she gave Emily a hug. "Are you okay? Have you seen the doctor yet?"

"We're waiting for X-ray to come take her," JJ replied. 

The Jareaus sat around the room making jokes to keep Emily's mind off the pain before the x-ray technician came and wheeled her out of the room. 

"Your family seems nice," the woman said as she wheeled Emily down the hallway.

Emily couldn't decide if she was too loopy from the pain meds or if she just didn't want to correct the tech, she just nodded in agreement. X-rays took fifteen minutes and the tech came out with a frown. 

"Looks like you broke it but the doctor will tell you for sure," she told Emily.

Once back in the room with JJ and her family the doctor came in to confirm what the tech had suspected. He called the nurse who came in to cast Emily's ankle. 

"You get to pick which color you want."

Emily looked over her choices and asked JJ which one to pick. JJ pointed and smiled, Emily laughed and showed the nurse her choice. It was a blue background with dinosaurs on it. The nurse made some comment about it generally being for children but let it go and went through the process of casting. 

"I'm going to call your mom back," JJ said as she took Emily's phone from the counter and stepped out of the room. 

"You guys really didn't need to come down here," Emily told Mr and Mrs Jareau.

"Of course we did, sweetie! You're one of ours now," Mr Jareau said happily as he planted a kiss on Emily's forehead. Emily smiled at the sentiment, she had never had a real family before. 

The nurse finished drying the cast as JJ came back in. "I left her a voice mail," JJ informed. 

Soon Emily was being wheeled out to reception to check out. The doctor had prescribed her pain medication to ease her suffering for the first week and informed her she would need to come back in six weeks to get the cast off. The nurse gave a pair of crutches to Mr Jareau as the family made their way out to the parking lot. 

The sun had gone down and it had just begun to snow as they got back to the Jareau household. Emily couldn't drive between the pain meds and her cast so Mrs Jareau insisted she lay down in the living room and rest until Elizabeth could come get her. Emily tried to argue but Sandy shot her a stern look that Emily couldn't debate. Emily fell asleep as soon as she laid down. JJ gently nudged her away two hours later.

"Em, there's a car here for you," JJ whispered.

Emily rolled her eyes, of course her mother had sent a car. Why would she possibly drive fifteen minutes to pick up her injured daughter? She couldn't possibly be bothered to go out in the snow. Emily gathered her things and hobbled with her crutches out to the car. Caitlin, her mother's chauffeur, helped her into the back of the black sedan. 

"Michael and I will bring your car over tomorrow," JJ told her as she closed the door behind Emily. Emily waved as they pulled out and headed home. Emily dozed off on the way and Caitlin had to wake her up to get her into the house. Emily made it inside and found her mother waiting for her in the sitting room. 

"How do you feel?" Elizabeth asked. 

"Like I broke my ankle," Emily replied snidely. 

"Well I'm glad you're alright. Theresa can bring your dinner to your room if you want."

"I'm not hungry, I'm just going to go to bed," Emily replied. She held back from getting into an argument about how her mother didn't come to the hospital but Mr and Mrs Jareau had sat there and held her hand when she was in pain and scared. She held back because she knew it wouldn't do any good to try and start a fight while she was coasting on a strong high from the medication. She made her way upstairs and collapsed on her bed. 

Before she went to sleep Emily took out her notebook and wrote the Jareaus a nice thank you letter for all they had done for her. She sealed it in an envelope and set it on her desk to give to JJ when she brought Emily's car over the next day. Emily took her final dose of medications before she settled into bed for the night. 

A week passed and soon it was two days before Christmas. Emily had never truly had a proper Christmas growing up. In the Prentiss household Christmas meant Emily received a check from Elizabeth, spent the day on her own then was usually dragged to the Christmas gala at the embassy. She had never even had a Christmas tree or stockings. Elizabeth's chef would prepare traditional Christmas dinner and after that it was back to business as usual. Now that Emily was 18 she didn't expect much for the holiday and had planned to catch up on a project for school. Emily had been completely shocked when Sandy Jareau had invited her over for Christmas. The Jareaus insisted Emily at least stop by for a while but would rather she come over on Christmas eve and spend the night. Emily had no trouble convincing her mother to let her go and was packing her overnight bag a day in advance. 

On Christmas Eve Michael came by to pick Emily up, who had been eagerly awaiting his arrival for the past twenty minutes. He helped her tot he car by carrying her bag and a box of presents she had put together while Emily hobbled along on her crutches. She loved how comfortable she had become with Michael. He was two years older but never made her feel inferior and always was there to lend a hand. He was a Jareau after all. The Jareaus were the kindest, most humble family Emily had ever been around and she longed to fit in. She still would smile occasionally thinking about her time in the hospital and James Jareau calling her 'one of his own'. 

The house smelled of freshly backed gingerbread and warm fire. Emily was immediately greeted by a hug and kiss from Sandy who was wearing a Christmas apron that looked like Santa's red suit. Thomas was in the living room with his girlfriend, Molly. JJ came bounding down the stairs in a red sweater and candy cane striped tights with a pair of felt reindeer antlers on her head. 

"Nice headband," Emily laughed as she gave JJ a hug. 

"They light up!" JJ pressed a button and her antlers began to play Jingle Bells with a built in light show. Emily couldn't help but smile at her extremely adorable best friend. 

"Gingerbread is ready!" called Mrs Jareau from the kitchen.

"Come on, Em you can be on my team!" JJ grinned as she took Emily by the hand and lead her into the kitchen.

"Team?" Emily questioned skeptically.

"To build the gingerbread house!" 

Emily had no idea what JJ was talking about, she vaguely knew gingerbread cookies were popular at Christmas time but she had no clue how to build a gingerbread house. She had only ever seen them on TV or on the front of greeting cards she had no idea you could make them from scratch. Mr and Mrs Jareau were teamed up, Thomas and Molly, JJ and Emily and Michael would be the judge of whose was best. Emily had the best time with her adopted family building their little edible houses. She and Thomas tried to throw candy in each other's mouths from across the counter which resulted in a huge mess of gumdrops and M&Ms scattered around the kitchen floor. When it came time to judge JJ and Emily had built a small castle complete with red frosting trim and gumdrop decorum, it even had a drawbridge and a moat made of blue taffy. Thomas and molly had built an intricate replica of Santa's workshop and Mr and Mrs Jareau had detailed a traditional home. Michael took his time dramatically going over ever detail of the delicious architecture. He finally ruled in favor of Emily and JJ saying it looked like a miniature Hogwarts. 

They all proceeded to the living room after the final judgment had been made and snacked on their creations while Mr Jareau took up his place at the piano and began playing Christmas carols. They all laughed and sang along while Emily tried to keep up. The few songs she recognized she had only ever heard in French so she enjoyed learning the English versions. Along with the classics JJ taught her "Grandma got run over by a reindeer" and "all I want for Christmas is my two front teeth". They sang long into the night until the fire had dulled to embers. 

"If you don't go to bed, Santa won't come," James declared as he looked at the clock. 

Molly said goodnight and Thomas drove her home while the rest of the family stayed put. JJ and Michael sat around the tree and shook their presents giving their best guesses as to what they could be. Emily sat nearby sheepishly enamored by how amazing the Jareaus were. She had always wished for siblings and now she felt like she had them. JJ turned around a tossed a present on Emily's lap.

"You can guess yours too!" JJ explained, after seeing the perplexed look on Emily's face.

Emily looked down at the neatly wrapped package and read her name on the tag. Tears welled up at the corners of her eyes as she realized the Jareaus had not only included her in their family traditions but they had also gotten her presents. She was so used to just getting a check for $50 she had never really had the opportunity to play the guessing game with presents. She had a blast coming up with outlandish guesses as to what the tiny package could be, everything from a horse to a new car. When Thomas got back Sandy announced it was time to open one gift per person before bed. 

"It's always pajamas," JJ whispered to Emily. "It's tradition for my parents to get everyone matching pajamas to wear for Christmas. I think it's so the photos look nice."

Emily chuckled at the idea of the entire Jareau clan wearing matching pjs. The presents were divided up from under the tree and before they all began unwrapping, James turned and handed Emily her own package. She was astonished. When James gave the cue they all tore into the wrapping and revealed a pajama set each. It was a green top with each of their initials monogrammed on the pocket and a pair of red plaid bottoms. Emily brushed her thumb over the monogram, beaming from ear to ear.

"Thank you," she replied. "They're perfect."

"I'm glad you like them, love," Sandy replied with a smile. 

Thirty minutes later everyone was tucked into bed. Emily laid next to JJ in her new set of pjs and grinned in the dark. She had never had such a fun Christmas eve, she couldn't wait to see what the next day had in store for her. 

"Emily, wake up! It's Christmas!" JJ exclaimed.

Emily rubbed her eyes sleepily as JJ came into focus. "Merry Christmas, Jayje."

They made their way downstairs where James and Sandy were already waiting on the couch with mugs of hot cocoa. The girls joined them and Emily watched the movie on TV.

"What movies is this?" she asked. 

"It's a Christmas Story! They play it for 24 hours on this channel, it's sort of our thing to keep it on all day," JJ told her, looking up at the tv and shouting out in unison with her parents, "YOU'LL POKE YOUR EYE OUT KID!" They all laughed and Emily looked at them perplexedly, she had never seen the film but hoped after watching it for an entire day she too would be quoting it before long. 

Michael and Thomas weren't far behind as they took up spots on the floor near the tree. Michael divided up the presents as Sandy took pictures of everyone in their matching clothes. 

"I only wish George could be here," James said with a sigh. George was still studying abroad in France and JJ had explained to Emily that they couldn't afford a ticket to bring him home for the holidays. It was the first year they hadn't celebrated as a whole family and there was definitely a hint of sadness to the morning tradition. 

They took turns opening their presents and Emily was so pleased that she had a total of three gifts from the family. She received a sweater with a kitten on it, a limited edition 10th anniversary copy of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone and some mix CDs Thomas had made her. She couldn't believe the sentiment behind each gift and cherished them all equally. Her final present came form JJ who handed her an envelope. Emily pulled out an envelope for JJ as well and they tore into them simultaneously. 

"Avett Brothers tickets?" JJ laughed as she pulled the tickets out and examined them.

"Yeah, I know you like them and they're coming in April!" Emily beamed, happy with her chose of gifts. She looked down and finished opening her envelope to reveal identical tickets to the same concert. "Wait, you got me the same tickets?"

JJ chuckled, "I was hoping to get you hooked on them before April!" 

Thomas reached over and snatched the tickets out of Emily's hand, "Guess Molly and I will come as a double date!" 

"That will be so fun! I insist," Emily grinned. She had never been to a concert before and was excited to have the opportunity to join JJ to see one of her favorite bands.

Later that afternoon the crew suited up and headed outside where they had a massive snowball fight. Emily and JJ dug out a small snow fort for protection, seeing as Emily's casted ankle made her a sitting duck, as Thomas and Micahel pelted them from afar. Mr and Mrs Jareau watched the war from inside with loving grins on their faces. 

"Are you having fun?" JJ asked from behind their wall of snow. 

"JJ, this is the greatest day of my life!" Emily replied honestly, as she chucked a snowball which hit Thomas directly in the face.

The rest of winter break went by quickly. Emily enjoyed New Year's eve festivities with the Jareaus and thought often about the kiss JJ had planted on her cheek at midnight. The last few days of break were spent completing school work and getting ready for second semester. 

Upon returning to school JJ and Emily were thick as thieves. JJ walked Emily to every class since she needed help carrying her books due to still being on crutches. JJ pointed out how much fun she had with Emily over break noted that other than the one night she hadn't been episodic for nearly two and a half weeks. She told Emily that she felt so much happier and that she hadn't hallucinated for the longest consecutive time period in recent history. Emily was glad to hear JJ was feeling better and enjoyed every second with her friend. 

January faded into February and JJ asked Emily to be her Valentine. They exchanged cheesy cards and chocolates at school and Emily took JJ out for a nice dinner that evening. Emily took her to the best Italian restaurant in town, even though JJ had insisted they just go to the diner because it was far more practical and less expensive. Emily had refused to let her reservation go and insisted they dress up for their fancy date. JJ wore a stunning red satin dress and a pair of her mother's heels and had done her hair up in a perfect bun. Emily was flabbergasted at JJ's natural beauty. They enjoyed dinner immensely and caught a movie afterwards. By the middle of the movie JJ alerted Emily to the fact that she was feeling extremely uneasy in the crowded theater and needed to leave. Emily didn't even question it as she gathered her things and lead JJ out into the lobby. JJ apologized profusely but Emily truly didn't mind. She reminded JJ that all she ever wanted was for JJ to feel comfortable ans safe when they were together. Despite her best efforts JJ ended up having a full blown panic attack on the car ride home. Emily stayed calm and kept her breaths even to try and get JJ to relax. It was little help but JJ appreciated the sentiment. By the time they arrived at JJ's house her attack had faded and she was exhausted. They said goodnight and embraced before JJ went into the house. Emily walked back to her car in the brisk evening air lost in happiness. She thought about how she had never celebrated holidays until she met JJ and how she wanted nothing more than to continue to celebrate together for the foreseeable future. Sandy had already invited Emily to come on their family vacation to Florida for spring break the following month and Emily was beside herself with excitement. Yes, everything seemed to be falling into place for young Emily Prentiss.


	3. Spring

Spring arrived with warmer weather and longer days. The girls were well into their second semester and had started making plans for college. Emily had been accepted to Columbia and JJ planned on attending University of Pittsburgh, it was only a 6 hour drive and Emily wasn't too worried about the distance. She looked forward to spend spring break with the Jareaus in Destin, Florida on the beach. Ever since she and JJ had become inseparable rumors ran rampant throughout the school that Emily Princess was dating Cray-Jay Jareau. It's not like Emily hadn't thought about it but she valued her friendship with JJ more than anything and placed that above any other feelings that would stir. She had never had a best friend before and she felt loved unconditionally for the first time in her life. 

Just as midterms were approaching JJ didn't show up for school one day. Emily text her and checked her phone between classes but she got no reply. She started to freak out when she hadn't heard anything from JJ by lunchtime and went to find Thomas to make sure everything was okay. She went to where he usually sat in the cafeteria but his friends said he was out too. Emily tried to remain calm but she couldn't help but flash back to the day in the library and how scared she had been for JJ. That was the last time JJ had missed school without telling Emily in advance. The day drug on slowly as a thousand possibilities ran through Emily's head. After school she called JJ's phone for a third time and it went straight to voice mail. Emily had even texted Thomas and had no response. 

She headed over to the Jareaus as soon as she could. Emily knocked rapidly on the front door but there was no answer. She went around to the back and found Thomas' car in the driveway but not Sandy's. She felt her stomach drop as she thought about the worst case scenarios. She pulled her phone out and decided to go ahead and call Sandy directly. The line rang several times before a quiet voice answered the line. 

"Hello?"

"Mrs Jareau, it's Emily. I'm standing outside your house because JJ wasn't in class today and I wanted to check in."

"Oh Emily," Sandy replied. "Sweetie, Jennifer is in the hospital."

Emily paused to try and comprehend what she had just been told, "Is she okay? Can I come see her? Which hospital?"

"She's in the ICU at Inova," Sandy took a deep breath and tried to choke back tears. "Emily, she tried to kill herself."

Emily's heart skipped a beat. JJ had seemed so happy, just the day before they had been making plans for their vacation. JJ had been isolating a little bit but she swore it was just because her classes had her so busy lately. Emily had believed her. Emily felt so sick to her stomach she had to sit down on the front step, "How is she?"

"She lost a lot of blood. James found her this morning, we're not sure how long she was unconscious the doctors say it's a toss up right now. If you're going to visit, you should come soon," Sandy broke down into a loud sob. There was a moment of silence before James came on the line, "Emily, you should come to the hospital. I think she'd want you to be here."

"I'm on my way," Emily replied and the line went dead. She sat on the step for a few minutes trying to refocus her vision which had gone blurry. She took deep breaths before she decided she was okay to drive again. She typed in the hospital on her phone and pulled up navigation. It would take her 25 minutes if there was no traffic but it was nearing rush hour, she needed to leave as soon as possible so she wouldn't get stuck on the highway. She got in her car and drove in silence to the hospital while tears slipped down her cheeks. 

Emily called Sandy back and got JJ's room number when she arrived at the hospital. She stood outside the room for several moments trying to prepare herself before finally tapping lightly on the door. Thomas answered with tear stained cheeks. 

"Emily."

"Hey Thomas," Emily gave him a hug and he collapsed in her arms, crying onto her shoulder. 

Emily entered the room to find JJ's parents and Michael crowded around the bed. JJ was hooked up to several machines with sterile bandages taped to either arm. Emily felt dizzy at the sight of JJ laying there with a breathing tube. She felt her balance go. Strong arms caught her as she blacked out and a few minutes later she came to sitting on the couch on the far side of the room. 

"It's okay, take it easy," Mr Jareau warned as Emily blinked her way back to consciousness. 

"I'm sorry," Emily whimpered as she began to cry. 

"It's okay sweetie, this isn't your fault," James comforted as he rubbed Emily's back. Michael come over with a cup of water and a cold towel and handed them to Emily. She wiped her cheeks and tried to sip slowly at the water. She hadn't expected to see JJ looking so lifeless. It was unnerving to see her friend unconscious while a machine was breathing for her. Emily leaned over and placed her hands over her head to keep from getting sick. 

"I thought she was getting better," Emily confessed with a whisper.

"No one could have predicted this. JJ has an illness, Emily. She has good days and bad days and sure we all thought she was doing okay but this is a tricky disease. It can sneak up on her when she's least expecting it. There was no way for any of us to prevent this. We found a stash of medication in her room, I don't think she's taken her meds in weeks, maybe longer. It was only a matter of time until she broke down again. She is so strong and so brave but she can't do it alone. It's important for all of us to remember that and be here for her when she wakes up. I understand you're probably feeling scared and you probably don't understand fully but the most important thing is that we stick by her side through all of this. She is going to need you now more than ever," James explained patiently. 

Emily nodded, she was scared. She was terrified to see her best friend lying there in a hospital bed, not knowing if she would ever get to talk to JJ again. However she heeded Mr Jareau's words and knew he was right, JJ would need her to be strong now. JJ would need her support. Emily felt confused because JJ had done such a good job pretending she was okay. Emily had gotten used to the way things were going, so much so she had nearly forgotten about JJ's mental illness altogether. Then everything came crashing down around her in a single instant. She felt sick knowing JJ had been suffering and hadn't reached out to Emily. She thought back over the past few weeks and tried to think of anytime JJ had seemed to show symptoms but came up short. Her confusion must have showed on her face because Sandy sat down next to her and took Emily's hand in her own. 

"She's a good actress, Emily. It's okay if you didn't know, she fooled all of us."

"I had no idea," Emily replied. "I am her best friend and I had no idea she was suffering."

"None of us did, darling," Sandy wrapped her arms around Emily and hugged her tightly. 

The hours slipped by with nurses and doctors coming in here and there to check on JJ's status but nothing changed. James offered to drive Emily home but she refused to leave JJ's side. She was too worried JJ would wake up and she wouldn't be there. Emily called her mom to check in and told her she wouldn't be home until JJ woke up. Elizabeth lectured her that she couldn't miss school if she wanted to keep her scholarship but Emily argued that her friend's life was more important than any scholarship amount could ever be. Elizabeth knew her daughter was going to do whatever she felt was right and she had no way to deter her, so she finally gave in and agreed to let Emily stay.

Emily and the Jareaus took turns sleeping throughout the night, always leaving one person awake just in case. Emily sat next to JJ's bed and ran her fingers through JJ's hair. "JJ, I don't know if you can hear me but it's Emily. I'm really worried about you. You have to know that I love you, I love you with all of my heart. I have never had a friend like you and I just can't lose you. Not now, after everything we've been through. You're so strong, JJ. I know you can make it through this. You've gotta pull through. We have so much to do. We're going to graduate and go to college. You're going to find someone who loves you and get married. You're going to have kids and live in a huge house with everything you ever wanted, because you deserve the world. I need you to make it through this because I don't know how to live without you. Don't make me do this alone. Hang in there, I'm here. I'm never going to leave you," Emily stiffled her sobs as to not wake everyone else. She leaned in and kissed JJ's cheek before resting her head on the bed while she held JJ's hand.

Soon the morning sun peaked in through the blinds and Emily stretched with a long yawn. Everyone in the room was asleep other than her but she felt exhaustion creeping up on her. Just as her eyelids seemed to heavy to keep open she heard a small noise. She opened her eyes and saw JJ starting to stir. Emily immediately jumped up and rushed to JJ's side. JJ opened her eyes and looked around frightened. 

"Jayje, it's okay. It's alright, you're in the hospital, don't try and talk," Emily told her as she squeezed JJ's hand to calm her down. "I'm here. I'm here, okay?" JJ looked at her with questioning eyes but slowly nodded in understanding. The commotion woke Sandy and she pressed the nurse's call button before taking a place next to the bed. 

"It's okay baby, we're here," she reassured her daughter. 

The nurse rushed in, waking James and the boys. Sandy pulled Emily away from JJ's bed so the nurse could do her job. She checked the monitors and spoke to JJ calmly explaining she had a breathing tube down her throat and she couldn't speak yet. JJ nodded again. The nurse explained she was going to remove the tube and she needed JJ to resit the urge to swallow while she did it. She carefully unplugged the tube and pulled it out from JJ's mouth. JJ sputtered and cough as the intrusive device was removed. 

"Alright, Jennifer. You're in the hospital, you've been out for a while. Your throat is going to hurt for a while, that's perfectly normal. I'm going to go get the doctor so he can examine you," the nurse told JJ.

"Okay," JJ whispered with a raspy tone. As soon as the nurse left the room Emily approached JJ's bed again. "Hey, Em."

"JJ, I was so worried about you," Emily admitted as she started to cry again. 

"We all were," Thomas chimed in as he stood on the other side. "You really scared us, sis."

JJ looked confused, she couldn't remember what had happened. She looked down to her arms and the bandages with questioning eyes. Emily watched her put together the pieces slowly then all at once. JJ looked around the room to each face staring back at her. She registered all the pain and suffering they had gone through, the blood shot eyes, the tear stained cheeks. It was all too much to handle at once and she began to cry. 

Emily laced her fingers in JJ's and brushed her hand through JJ's blonde hair. "Hey, it's okay. Don't be scared, we're all here for you. It's going to be okay now."

"The voices were so loud," JJ murmured. 

"I know, love, but you don't ever have to face those voices alone. Look, we're all here for you," James smiled at his daughter. 

The doctor came in the room while Thomas and Michael left to go find some coffee. The doctor asked JJ a series of questions to check her brain function as he jotted down notes on his clipboard. He turned to Mr and Mrs Jareau and asked her to step outside with them so he could talk to them privately. They followed, leaving Emily and JJ alone in the room. 

"Emily, I'm so sorry," JJ whispered. 

Emily shook her head and forced a small smile, "No, don't you apologize to me. You have nothing to apologize for. JJ, I just wish you had told me. I'm so sorry you had to suffer through this alone. You are so brave."

JJ paused for a second and watched Emily suspiciously. She thought for sure Emily would be angry but there she was being supportive, kind and understanding. "I understand if you don't want to be friends anymore. I'm such a fuck up."

"JJ, you're not a fuck up. You just have a lot going on but there's help. We can help you but you also have to be willing to help yourself. You have to take your medication even when you're feeling better. This thing is too much to bear on your own, you have to let us help you. That's what we're here for. You're so dammed stubborn but you're not alone. Let us do our part to help you get better," Emily explained. 

JJ shook her head slowly, she had no words for how much it meant to her to hear Emily say those things. She didn't feel strong, she felt small and broken. She felt defeated, like she had once again let everyone down. She felt like a complete failure. JJ moved over in the bed to make room, "Will you hold me?"

"Anytime," Emily slid into bed next to JJ and wrapped her arms around the fragile girl. She wanted so badly to make things better but she knew it would take time. She tightened her embrace as JJ broke down into tears. Emily whispered reassurances and wiped JJ's cheek with the sleeve of her hoodie. "How can I help you, JJ? What do you need?"

"Will you sing to me? My mom always sings to me," JJ replied shyly.

Emily agreed and sang the first song that came to mind, "Black bird singing in the dead of night, take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arise. Black bird singing in the dead of night, take these sunken eyes and learn to see. All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to be free."Black bird, fly. Black bird, fly. Into the light of a dark black night"

As she sang Emily felt JJ's body relax. Emily continued through the rest of the song before JJ's parents came back into the room. They asked Emily if they could have a moment alone and Emily reluctantly got out of the bed. "I'll just be outside," she told JJ as she shuffled out of the room. 

Michael and Thomas reappeared with a tray of coffee, Emily explained that their parents were talking to JJ and the three of them sat down outside of JJ's room. 

"It's really cool of you to be here, Em," Michael said as he passed her a cup.

"Where else would I be?" Emily asked honestly.

"It's just, JJ doesn't have many friends after what happened last year. You're probably the first person to ever truly get to know her. I see the way she is around you, she's happy. It's been a long time since any of us have seen her like that. She really loves you. That being said, we understand if this is too much to handle. It's a lot for us to deal with and we're her family," Michael explained. 

Emily looked at him seriously, "Michael, if anything this just makes me want to be there for her even more. I'm not going anywhere. I love her too."

"Good, sis," Thomas added. "We love you too, you know?"

"I know," Emily smiled as she ruffled Thomas' hair. "I love you guys."

James came to the door and ushered the three back in the room. JJ was sitting up in the bed crying uncontrollably. Emily's heart sank as James explained she would stay in the hospital a couple more days to be sure she was stable and then they would be transferring her to a residential facility until she could get back on her medications. They were looking at three months minimum. 

"Where is the facility?" Emily asked.

"The doctor recommended Kingsboro in New York," Sandy replied. 

"New York?" Thomas asked.

"It's the best place for her right now," Sandy continued.

"But that's four hours away. Isn't there another hospital?" Michael asked. 

"There's Arundel in Maryland but the doctor thinks it's unlikely she'd get in there because they only have a limited number of spots," Mr Jareau explained. "Kingsboro is our best bet."

"I've heard of Arundel," Emily chimed in. "My mother knows one of the board of directors. They've been friends for ages. I can ask her for help."

"Emily, we would never ask you to do that," Sandy stated.

"No, let me ask my mother. Please? It can't hurt."

"We would appreciate it," James said as he wrapped an arm around his adoptive daughter. 

Emily went outside to get some fresh air and call her mother. She explained to Elizabeth the situation and that it was dire for JJ to be close to home since the Jareaus all worked and couldn't visit a New York facility very often. She pleaded with her mother to talk to her friend. Elizabeth knew the situation must be serious because she could not recollect any other time her daughter had ever asked her to pull strings using her contacts. Elizabeth agreed to call Rosalie and see what she could do but she made no promises. 

Elizabeth pulled through and managed to convince Rosalie to find a spot for JJ at Arundel. Two days after she had woken up JJ was being transported the 45 minutes to Edgewater. She had to be processed and checked in before she could make any phone calls but Emily still checked her phone every ten minutes while she was in class. It wasn't until after school that her phone rang.

"JJ?" 

"Hey Em," JJ sighed heavily.

"How is it? Are you alright? Have you met your roommates yet?" Emily asked hurriedly.

"I'm alright. I just can't believe I'm stuck here for the next three months. I haven't met my house mates yet. I think everyone is still at group."

"It's going to be good for you, Jayje. They can help you get back on your meds and help you feel better. Three months is nothing in the scheme of things and besides now that you're so close I can visit you every weekend," Emily replied happily.

"I just can't believe I'm missing out on spring break, the Avett brothers, and mostly I can't fucking believe that I'll miss graduation again," JJ's voice trembled and Emily could tell she was choking back tears.

"JJ, don't worry about it. The school already said you could take summer school and graduate in August. Florida will always be there and the Avett brothers will come back to town. The most important thing to focus on is you getting better, you have to try not to stress out."

"I know you're right but it doesn't mean I have to be happy about it," JJ replied. 

"You don't have to be happy about it, just try and be okay with it. For me?" Emily asked.

"Anything for you, Em," JJ said sarcastically. Emily heard another voice in the background before JJ added, "Sounds like my roommates are here. I'm going to let you go."

"I miss you already," Emily sighed. 

"I know, I miss you too."

The following weekend Emily found herself in the car with James and Michael on the way to Maryland with a car full of her clothes and some small mementos to remind her of home. Emily had made a couple of playlists on her old iPod and brought it along to share. She had also written JJ a long letter detailing everything she had been missing in school. The drive was pleasant and they made it to Arundel in under an hour. 

JJ was so happy to see her family but most of all, Emily. The two caught up about everything that had happened that week while JJ gave her visitors a tour of her temporary home. Emily was impressed with the facility and felt at ease seeing that JJ had settled in nicely already. JJ introduced Emily and her family to her roommates, who Emily thought seemed really nice. The four spent the afternoon enjoying each other's company in the park nearby.

"Your mom is really sorry she couldn't come up," James told JJ as he wrapped a protective arm around her. "She couldn't miss the interview for this new job."

"I understand, dad. I'm really sorry she has to go back to work," JJ replied with a frown.

"Princess, your mother and I would do anything for you and if that means she has to go back to work to make a little extra money then so be it. The most important thing to us is providing you with quality care in a safe environment for you to get better."

"What's Thomas up to?" JJ asked as if she had only just realized her younger brother was also missing in action.

"It's Molly's birthday," Michael told her. 

JJ rolled her eyes sarcastically. "He's so whipped."

"So whipped," Emily and Michael laughed in unison.

Michael and James decided to take drive around the town to give the girls some time alone before heading back home. JJ and Emily laid under a shady tree pointing out clouds to each other while talking about everything and nothing at all. They each had an earbud in and listened to one of the mixes Emily had loaded on the iPod. They sang duets to each other while holding hands and simply enjoying one another's company. 

"Florida is next week," Emily reminded. "Your mom still wants me to go but I think it's be weird without you."

"You absolutely have to go, Em! You've never been and the beach is gorgeous. Besides, look at how pale you are! You could use some vitamin D. You look like a Cullens," JJ joked.

"Ugh, I don't sparkle in the sun. I burn! The sun and I are not friends," Emily said matter of factly. "I just think it's weird for me to go on vacation with your family when you're here. I wouldn't get to see you for two weekends!"

"I know but I think you deserve a vacation. You've been taking care of me all year, take some time for yourself. Besides my mom will go crazy if it's just her and the boys."

Emily laughed at the idea of Mrs Jareau alone with the boys for an entire week. "I don't know how your mom puts up with ona daily basis."

"She's the bravest woman I know," JJ said earnestly. 

"You're the bravest woman I know, JJ"

"I don't feel that way," JJ sighed. 

"It's true. The fact that you've been dealing with all of this is mind boggling to me. If it had been me I would be crying to go home every day. You are stronger than you know. You really are my hero, JJ. I'm not just placating you, I mean every word," Emily told her as she grabbed JJ's hand.

"I just hate this feeling."

"What feeling, Jayje?"

"It's hard to describe. But I just hate myself for surviving. That night the voices were so loud, overwhelmingly so, I just wanted to make them go away. I thought I could do it, I thought I could finally take control and do something about it. I was scared and at my wit's end. And then, when I woke up, fuck, Em. It was like everything I had done was for nothing. Like I am such a fuck up I couldn't do anything right and then i couldn't even kill myself. That broke me. I don't want to be here, I don't want to have to deal with this the rest of my life. It's such a burden. Sure, my parents are supportive now but this place is expensive and will take forever to pay off the bill. I just want to feel better, to be better. I'm such a burden to everyone, I'm so tired of this shit. I don't think I can do this anymore. I don't want to do this anymore. I just want it to be over."

Emily's chest tightened hearing the pain in JJ's voice. She wanted to be able to offer JJ kind words but she felt so helpless. It was true she didn't fully understand what JJ was going through but that didn't mean she didn't want to try. Emily knew JJ had been having a hard time since the incident but she had no way of knowing where JJ's head was truly at until now. She longed to make things better but she was at a loss. She wrapped a protective arm around JJ and pulled her in close, so that JJ's head rested on her shoulder. 

"Listen, I don't know a lot about how you're feeling but I do know one thing, you're so strong JJ. You may not feel that way right now but please know that this thing, this illness, doesn't define you. I know it's scary and I know it seems overwhelming but you can do this. I know you can. You're so brave. I have never met someone as good hearted and kind. You are such a good person and the world would be a darker place without you in it. I know that you're hurting and I'm not going to tell you not to go. Because if you have to, if that's your only option, then I have to come to terms with that. I just need you to understand that I would miss you every second of every day. You're important, JJ. So very important, not just to me but to your family too. They love you so much and we're all here for you, me included. I know things seem bleak right now, but please know I believe in you. I know that you can do this, even if you don't feel like it. If you can't believe in yourself right now, let me believe enough for both of us. I know your scared but you're not alone anymore. i'm here for you and I'm not leaving no matter what happens."

"Why are you so nice to me?" JJ asked.

"Because I love you and you're my best friend," Emily smiled. 

They watched the clouds pass until the playlist ended and Emily got a text from Michael announcing their arrival. Emily walked JJ back to her room and gave her a long hug. She promised to take a ton of pictures in Florida, as requested. James and Michael said their goodbyes and they were off. 

Emily returned to Arundel on her own the day after she got back from Florida. JJ hadn't been expecting any visitors that weekend but Emily drove up to surprise her before she had to go back to school the next day. JJ was stunned when she opened the door and found a very sunburned Emily standing there with the biggest grin. Emily showed JJ all of the pictures from the trip and gave JJ a small bag full of seashells she had collected.

"I know it's lame but I thought they were pretty," Emily told her.

"No, I think they're great," JJ replied as she closely inspected each shell. "I'll keep them at my desk to remind me of you"

"I can't believe it's nearly been a month already."

"I know, I really like it here. I feel safe and they've put me back on all my meds. Other than a couple of issues when I first got here I haven't been symptomatic. I forgot what stable feels like," JJ admitted. 

"I'm really proud of you. You're really making progress and I can tell the difference," Emily smiled.

"You can? How? You only see me once a week."

"I can see it in your eyes. The sparkle is back in them and you seem happier," Emily noted. "How are your scars looking?"

JJ turned her arms out so Emily could see the ragged scars up either wrist. "Hideous."

Emily took a finger and traced over the freshly healed wounds, "I don't know. I think they make you look like a badass. They show that you went through something horrific but you beat it and you're still here."

JJ smiled slightly, "You're such a charmer, Emily Prentiss."

"I do what i can," Emily laughed as she gave JJ a hug. 

"Are you going to prom?" JJ asked.

"Me? Are you kidding? I would rather be set on fire. Do you not remember what happened at the last dance I went to?"

JJ let out the loudest laugh remembering that night. "His nose never did heal right. You're lucky your mom convinced his parents to drop the charges, you know?"

"God, could you even imagine?" Emily changed to her best Elizabeth impersonation, "No daughter of mine will go to jail! Do you know what that would look like for me? An Ambassador's daughter should be prim and proper, not some rough and tumblr tomboy who breaks boys noses. I am quite disappointed!"

JJ bent over from laughing so hard, "You're really too good at that."

"I've had years to practice," Emily chuckled.

Emily spent the rest of the afternoon with JJ before reluctantly saying goodbye. Before she left JJ gave her back her iPod so she could update it with new music. Emily promised to add more song this time to last a little longer. And so it went that Emily would drive up to Edgewater at least once a weekend either by herself or in the company of the Jareaus and before she realized it 5 weeks had passed. JJ was showing signs of improvement every time Emily saw her but Emily knew from experience just because JJ was acting like her old self didn't necessarily mean she was feeling 100%. Emily always made sure to ask how JJ was doing when they talked, she urged JJ to be honest with her and JJ trusted her enough to do so. She had her ups and downs but for the most part she confided she was feeling a lot more stable than she had been even before she stopped taking her medication. JJ had made friends at Arundel and really liked her team of doctors and therapists. Emily was always happy to hear about the crazy things that happened in group, even though she knew JJ was exaggerating sometimes for effect. 

Wednesday was the night JJ got out of group early and had the most time to call Emily and catch up. Emily loved their weekly phone calls between weekend visitation. She got home from school, ate dinner and passed the time on her laptop while waiting for JJ to call. JJ usually called around 6:30pm but it was nearing 7 o'clock and Emily was still patiently waiting. She decided to take things into her own hands and made the phone call, the line rang for a while before a tired voice answered. 

"Hello?"

"JJ, it's me," Emily sighed with relief. "I was worried when you hadn't called. Are you okay?"

"It's been a long day, they had to sedate me. What time is it?"

"Nearly 8 o'clock. What happened, darling?" Emily asked. 

"We were in group and everything seemed okay but I started to get really scared. Everything felt fuzzy and I felt like nothing was real, like I was floating. I started seeing lights, like light creatures, I don't know how to explain it. But I was so scared I started crying and freaking out. God, Emily I wish you had been there. You're always so good when I'm freaking out. I apparently tried to stab my therapist with a pencil when she tried to calm me down. It took two nurses to hold me down and dose me. I was so terrified, everything felt surreal. I guess, I'm just so embarrassed." 

"Listen, JJ you have nothing to be embarrassed about. It's okay if you still have episodes from time to time. Things aren't going to be perfect. I wish I had been there too but I'm glad you're in a safe place where you could get the help you needed. Are you doing okay now?"

"I still feel uncomfortable but I slept a bit so it's not as bad."

"I wish i could be there for you, I'm sorry you have to go through this alone," Emily sighed as she laid back on her bed and picked up the picture frame next to her bed of her and JJ on Christmas morning. 

"I know, me too," JJ replied softly. "I'm sorry to cut this short but I really feel out of it. I think I'm going to go back to sleep."

"Okay, I understand. I love you, Jayje."

"I love you too, Em."

"Four more weeks. You're so brave, I'm so proud of you," Emily told her. 

"I'm glad someone is, good night."

"Sleep sweet."

Emily listened until the line went quiet then plugged her phone in on her night stand. She was still holding her favorite picture as she cuddled into bed, her mind racing with thoughts of JJ. She wished badly that she could be of more help. Tears welled at the corners of her eyes as she gripped the picture tightly in her arms and tried to fall asleep. Four more weeks she thought to herself. It seemed like an eternity. Emily was just happy that JJ was doing well for the most part, even though she missed her desperately. She knew it was important for JJ to finish the program and Emily counted down until her return home.


	4. Summer

Finals week proved to be reasonably easy for Emily, seeing as she was exempt due to good grades from 3 of her eight classes. She was most worried about Anatomy and Physiology since she hadn't had a lot of time to tutor with JJ. Some weekends she had brought her homework when she visited so she wouldn't fall too far behind but she still struggled. She was already making a C in the class and needed her final grade to push her up to a B to finish the year strong. Between finals and graduation plans Emily's schedule was rather full during May. She only got to visit JJ twice but they talked on the phone every week. Emily apologized profusely for her absence but JJ swore she understood. Truth be told JJ was feeling a bit melancholy as of late but she didn't want to further stress Emily out with her problems. 

The last week of classes flew by and soon Emily was getting ready to graduate. Emily managed to squeak by with a low B in A&P but aced all of her other classes. She would be graduating with honors, along with several other distinctions due to the elaborate list of school clubs that she belonged to. The night of graduation Emily called JJ while she was getting ready. 

"I wish you were here,," Emily admitted as she slipped into her dress. 

"I know but you're going to be great! This time it's me that's proud of you!" JJ stated happily. "Even if you are a gross over achiever."

Emily chuckled, "It's not my fault I excel at everything I do."

"Unless someone asks you to identify the sphenoid," JJ corrected.

"Erm," Emily thought about it for a moment. "It's by the temporal bone!"

"Lucky guess, Prentiss."

"Shut up. I'm going to college for linguistics not biology, it's not like I'll be dealing with dead bodies," Emily pointed out. She stood in the mirror and gave herself a once over before pulling on her graduation gown. "You should see how terrible I look in this over sized trash bag."

"I will," JJ replied. "I mean when you visit with pictures."

"Now that school's out I can visit more! I'm so excited to see you," Emily grinned. She smoothed down her hair as Elizabeth called up to her. "Shit, mother dearest is calling. I guess it's time to go. I'll call you after. Wish me luck!"

"Luck! Make sure the dragon lady takes lots of pictures!"

Emily shoved her phone in her purse and made her way downstairs. Elizabeth was waiting, camera ready. She took a couple of photos before they left and Emily tried to not get too annoyed. She knew she should be happy her mother was even going to her graduation seeing as she had rescheduled a business trip in order to attend. However, Elizabeth took every opportunity to remind Emily of how inconvenient it was. 

"C'mon mother. We're going to be late," Emily whined as Elizabeth handed the camera to Caitlin to snap a few pictures of her and her daughter. 

"It's not every day my daughter graduates high school!" 

"Well I'm not going to graduate if we don't make it there."

Caitlin opened the car door and shut it behind Emily. Emily always felt weird riding in the town car with her mother. She hated feeling like some sort of dignitary, even though, technically she was. They arrived at the stadium and Emily quickly found a few of her friends from French club and waved good bye to her mother. 

"Emily!" 

Emily turned to find Thomas waving at her through the crowd. She rushed over and wrapped her arms around him. "Little brother! What are you doing here?"

"Molly's family insisted I join them and I wouldn't miss seeing you graduate!" 

Emily smiled and ruffled his hair, "You're amazing."

"Emily come on!" one of the girls called as the students began to line up to make their grand entrance. 

"I'll see you after, Thomas," Emily smiled before trotting off.

The ceremony drug on for what seemed like forever, with a last name starting with P and a class of 800 Emily was bored to tears by the time they made it midway through the alphabet. She had snuck in her iPod despite the strict rules against them during the ceremony. She was listening to her favorite album when one of the teachers ushered her row that it was time to get ready to cross the stage. Emily followed in line and took a deep breath. As long as she didn't trip she would be okay. Cross the stage, accept the diploma, smile and wave so her mother could get a picture then she was done. 

"Emily Parker Prentiss, graduating with honors. National Honor Society, French club, Latin club, first chair violin in orchestra." the announcer read. 

Emily smiled and crossed to shake hands with the principal and vice principal before accepting her diploma. She made her way to the end of the stage and turned to the audience where her eyes immediately landed on a familiar face. JJ grinned from ear to ear and waved at her from her spot next to her parents and Elizabeth. Emily ignored the usher's instructions and rushed off stage toward the bleachers. An usher tried to stop her but she brushed past and darted toward JJ. JJ was standing and pushing past the crowd to get to Emily. They met at the bottom of the bleachers and Emily tackled the blonde in a monstrous hug. 

"How?!" Emily gasped as tears began rolling down her cheeks. 

"They let me out a week early so I could come!" 

"You have no idea how happy I am you're here!" Emily grinned. "You dork! You knew you would be here when I talk to you earlier and you didn't tell me!"

"Emily, you need to go back to your seat with the rest of the graduates," one of the teachers pointed out as she reached for Emily's arm to urge her back to her place. 

"Go, go. I'll see you afterwards," JJ smiled. 

Emily groaned and followed back to her chair in the sea of students. She spent the rest of the ceremony beaming from ear to ear, anxiously waiting to talk to JJ. The Valedictorian made the final remarks and the announcer congratulated the graduates and announced they could now change their tassel to the opposite side to indicate the ceremony was finished. Once they were ushered out of the stadium Emily pushed through the crowd, sprinting towards where the families were exiting. 

"JJ!" she called as the blonde came into view. 

JJ saw her and immediately forced her way through the throng, until she was throwing her weight at Emily in an embrace. They stood there hugging for a solid two minutes as people passed around them. Emily was so thrilled to have her best friend back. 

"How are you feeling? I can't believe you're here!" Emily smiled as she took JJ by the hand and walked to find their parents. 

"Well, being thrown into a massive social situation was a little intimidating right off the bat but for you it's worth it," JJ smiled as she squeezed Emily's hand. 

They met up with their parents and Mr and Mrs Jareau congratulated Emily on her accomplishments. Elizabeth was standing near by with the camera and took pictures of the girls together, along with one of the entire Jareau clan and Emily. They Jareaus insisted on taking Emily out to dinner to celebrate but Elizabeth declined, seeing as she was traveling early the next day. Sandy explained that Emily should probably just spend the night so the girls could catch up. Emily and JJ agreed whole heartedly and Emily said good night to her mother. 

That night Emily changed out of her dress and replaced it with one of JJ's old soccer shirts, joining JJ on the bed. "I can't believe you're finally home."

"It's good to be back," JJ smiled. "It's really good to see you."

The two stayed up until the wee hours of the morning catching up as the snuggled in JJ's bed. Emily loved the feeling of having JJ in her arms, it made her feel safe and comfortable. JJ felt like home. They painted each other's nails and watched bad scifi movies until the sun came up. 

"Maybe we should sleep," Emily yawned as she noticed the time. 

"Maybe so," JJ answered as she flipped the TV off. "Thank you, for everything Emily. I mean it."

"There's nothing I wouldn't do for you, Jayje."

"Same for you, you know? I'd do anything for you, all you ever have to do is ask."

"Thanks, I'll keep that in mind," Emily replied as she wrapped her arms around JJ and relaxed into the covers. "Good night, love you."

"I love you too," JJ said sleepily as she kissed Emily's hand which was interlaced in her own. 

They spent the next three weeks sleeping over at each other's houses, completely inseparable. As the end of June came upon them JJ started summer school to catch up on the school she had missed while at Arundel. The tables were turned and this time Emily acted as tutor for the classes she had already completed. JJ went to school during the day and spent the nights hanging out with Emily and doing homework. 

George had returned from France near the beginning of summer and the Jareau's planned a Fourth of July trip to see family in South Carolina. JJ was upset she couldn't go because of school but looked forward to a week of having the house to herself, with Emily as her guest. 

"We could throw a party!" Emily joked. 

"And who would we invite to said party?" JJ asked suspiciously.

Emily thought hard for a moment before conceding, "I suppose you're right."

Instead, Emily spent the afternoons reading while JJ was at school and spending time laying out on the hammock in the back yard. JJ got home from class and found Emily asleep with her favorite book. JJ smiled at how peaceful the brunette looked in the sunlight. She crawled onto the hammock next to Emily and brushed her hands through raven tresses. Emily woke slowly and grinned. 

"How long have you been there?" Emily asked.

"I just got home but you looked so cute, I'm sorry I woke you," JJ propped herself up and looked into Emily's eyes, noting the flecks of hazel in the depths of brown. "I'm going to miss you so much when we go to school."

"Don't remind me," Emily groaned. "But we'll only be six hours apart. We can talk all the time and maybe spend long weekends together? We'll make it work."

"Emily, promise me we'll always be friends?"

"I cross my heart, hope to die. We're going to grow old together. I'm going to be there for you through your boyfriends and inevitable heart breaks and you can be there for me when I get nervous to play violin for a concert. We'll stand up for each other at our weddings and we'll go on family vacations together. Our kids can grow up together, and we'll grow old and become crotchety old broads reminiscing about that year back in high school when we first met," Emily smiled as she played with JJ's ponytail. 

"That sounds amazing," JJ sighed.

"I promise we will always be friends JJ. There's no one else I'd rather spend my life with, you're my soul mate," Emily replied. 

"Ditto back, Em." JJ said as she kissed Emily on the cheek. "Best friends forever. You'll never know how much you mean to me. I wouldn't have survived this year without you. You saved me life, quite literally."

"I'm so glad you're still here, Jayje," Emily turned and looked at the sky to try and hide the fact she had begun to cry. "I just don't know what I would have done without you. I hope I never have to find out."

"I don't plan on going anywhere. Heaven forbid I jinx it but I really feel stable now. I mean I haven't had a bad episode in over a month and I feel like my life is finally settling down. I have you to thank for a lot of that."

The rest of the week was spent enjoying their lack of supervision, going on adventures and staying out past curfew. In August JJ graduated and Emily was there cheering her on loudest. As summer wound down the two packed for college. JJ left first, her entire family driving her up to University of Pittsburgh , including Emily. Emily and Sandy helped paint JJ's dorm room and get her situated. 

A week later, Emily left for Columbia. JJ had given her a present and made her swear not to open it until the first day of classes. After her first day Emily raced back to her dorm and pulled the wrapped parcel from under her bed. She tore it open and grinned. Underneath the colorful wrapping was a scrapbook, full of pictures and notes from throughout the year. Emily spent two hours going through the scrapbook, laughing and crying looking from page to page. She called JJ when she reached the end to thank her for such a thoughtful gift. 

"I even left blank pages in the back for what's to come," JJ replied happily. 

"Oh, I can't wait to fill them with you."

"Here's to us, may we have many more adventures," JJ chuckled.

"To many more adventures," Emily repeated.


	5. Epilogue

As promised, Emily and JJ remained close friends as college flew by. Year after year they took trips to visit each other. Supporting each other through new relationships, break ups, and the ups and downs of young adulthood. JJ had been mostly stable, save for a few bad episodes a few times a year. She was excelling in her studies at Pitt and Emily was doing the same at Columbia. They spent holidays together at the Jareau household, just like old times. Emily had even attended Michael's wedding in the fall of junior year. The girls talked nearly everyday, long phone calls which drug on for hours talking about nothing and everything all at once. 

Before Emily knew it she was filling out grad school applications. She was majoring in criminology with a minor in linguistics from Columbia. She wanted to move to Virginia and join the FBI after getting her Masters. Four years had flown past in the blink of an eye. She had blossomed into an incredible young woman, head strong and independent. She had made her mother very proud, they had been working on their relationship for years and Emily finally felt like she could say they had become close. 

It was spring break of senior year and Emily was excited to spend a week with JJ in Pittsburgh. Bags were packed, gas tank was full, she just had to make it through seven hours of classes before being free. Seven hours felt like seven years as Emily anxiously awaited dismissal from her last class of the day. The clock hit 3:30 pm and the Professor finally wished everyone a happy spring break and dismissed them. 

Emily rushed to her car and was on her way. It was a six hour drive but she didn't mind. JJ didn't drive due to her medications so Emily enjoyed brining her car so they could easily go on day trips around Pittsburgh. It was pretty much a straight shot down I-80 and Emily enjoyed driving it. She would drive any distance to see JJ, that had never changed. 

She pulled out her phone and dialed JJ's number, "Hey! I'm finally free and on my way! ETA probably about 10:00 pm"

"That's awesome!" JJ replied happily. "I just got out too. I can't wait to see you! I can't believe it's been three months already. I miss you."

"I miss you too," Emily confessed. "But I'll see you in six hours and we can catch up! Is your roommate home tonight?" Jj shared a two bedroom apartment with an art student named Kahlan, whom she genuinely disliked. Kahlan seemed cool at first until she started brining over every guy from the art department. Often leaving her bedroom door open during her escapades, much to JJ's chagrin. Emily had heard all about Kahlan and was not excited to meet her.

"She's actually going on vacation for the week, the apartment is all ours!" JJ confirmed, knowing Emily would absolutely loathe Kahlan and vice versa. 

"Oh, thank god," Emily laughed. "Alright, let me get off the phone and drive. Love you!"

"Love you too, see you soon!" 

The afternoon waned as the sun set then disappeared from the horizon altogether. Emily yawned as she took the exit for JJ's apartment. She had made good time and was 30 minutes ahead of schedule. She pulled into the complex and parked her car. She grabbed her bags as a new wave of energy coursed through her veins. 

She had barely raised her hand to knock when the door flew open and JJ tackled her, wrapping Emily in her arms. "You're here!" she exclaimed.

"And you're crushing me," Emily chuckled as JJ finally let her go. JJ had only been in the apartment since the start of spring semester but it was well decorated and looked cozy. JJ gave her the grand tour of the place, proud of her first apartment. 

"It looks better than the shit hole I live in," Emily concluded. 

"I love your apartment," JJ replied. "Even with your lack of furnishings."

"I have a bed and that's all I need!" Emily shrugged. Her mother had offered time and time again to get Emily into a nice place but Emily was fine with campus housing. She didn't mind her 400 square foot one bedroom. It was more than enough space for her. She was rarely home anyway, she spent most of her time at the library when not in class. 

"Are you hungry?" JJ asked. "There's a really great pizza joint that delivers until 3am. Or we can go to the hill, there's a lot of bars and stuff up there if you aren't too tired."

"Nah, pizza sounds perfect," Emily decided as she plopped down on the couch. "My treat, I insist."

JJ laughed as she sat down next to Emily and pulled Emily's arm around her shoulders, "You just drove six hours to get here and now you're insisting on buying dinner? I couldn't possibly."

Emily laid her head on JJ's shoulder, "I don't know why you expect anything less of me, we've known each other going on five years. I thought you would have stopped arguing with me at this point. You know I always win."

JJ knew Emily was right, she simply shut up and ordered pizza when Emily gave her the credit card. Thirty minutes later they were holed up on the couch catching up and eating dinner. 

"I'm sorry to hear you and Robert broke up," Emily told her. 

"Some people just aren't good with crazy, I guess," JJ said with a small smile. "Not everyone can be as heroic as you, Emily."

"I'm not heroic," Emily laughed. "I'm just doing my job as best friend. You mean the world to me."

"Ditto back," JJ said as she looked Emily in the eyes. "I could live one hundred years and never be able to repay you for everything you've done for me."

Emily simply smiled, "You don't owe me anything."

They finished eating and put on a movie, cuddling up under the blankets on the couch. Emily had always loved the way JJ felt in her arms. By the time the credits were over Emily was already asleep with her head resting on JJ's shoulder. JJ nudged her gently, "Em, movie is over."

"What? I wasn't sleeping," Emily yawned. 

"Sure," JJ chuckled. "Let's go to bed, before you start drooling on me."

"I don't drool," Emily said as she wiped her mouth subconsciously. She padded down the hallway to the bathroom to brush her teeth and get changed. By the time she made it the bedroom JJ was sitting in bed with her laptop.

"I know what we should do tomorrow," JJ beamed. She turned her laptop to show Emily a tattoo website.

"Are you joking?" Emily asked, knowing she wasn't.

"C'mon Em! We've always talked about it and you're here now! Let's go tomorrow and get tattoos!"

"JJ, my mother would disown me," Emily reminded as she took the laptop and started clicking through the gallery. She nodded, there were some great pieces of art on there but the fact was if her mother ever found out she would be dead.

"So don't tell her," JJ giggled as she nudged Emily's arm. "I already have an idea for what we should get." She took the laptop back and pulled up a picture of a triangle with swirls branching off of each angle. "It's Celtic, it means unity through sisterhood."

Emily smiled, "I love it. It's perfect, Jayje."

JJ smiled knowing Emily was actually considering her wild idea, "Just think about it."

"Fine," Emily conceded. "But for now can we get some sleep?"

JJ shut down her computer and shut off the lamp on her nightstand. She rolled to her side and Emily wrapped herself around the smaller woman. "Good night, Em"

"Good night, Blackbird."

The next day they found themselves at Pittsburgh Tattoo Studio. Emily couldn't believe she was getting a tattoo but at least she wasn't doing it alone. They had decided to get them on the tops of their right feet so they always walked together through sisterhood. Emily was going first and she was chewing on her nails as the artist, Dean, placed the stencil on her foot. 

"You're pretty brave," Dean told her. "The foot usually hurts."

"Don't tell her that!" another artist called from the other side of the shop. "You'll be fine hun, just remember to breathe."

"Just breathe," JJ reminded as she squeezed Emily's hand. 

"Are you two sisters?" Dean asked as she pulled away the trace paper to reveal a purple stencil on top of Emily's foot. "We just need to let this dry then we'll get started."

"We're not related by blood," JJ clarified. "But that doesn't necessarily mean we aren't sisters." She smiled at Emily who was currently clenching her hand tightly. "Em, you're going to do great. It'll be over before you know it, I won't even laugh if you start crying."

"I won't cry," Emily said straightening up in the chair and loosening her grip on JJ's hand. 

Minutes later Dean had returned, he poured black ink into a tiny cup and tapped the pedal of the tattoo machine with his foot. Emily jumped at the low hum of the machine. He dipped the needle in the ink and turned to her with a smile, "Ready?"

"Ready," Emily said as she took a deep breath. Dean started with a small line and Emily winced. He worked in the ink as he followed the stencil and soon Emily had gotten used to the feeling. It was somewhat of an adrenaline rush and she enjoyed the pain in an odd way. When he was finished Dean wiped the tattoo clean and wrapped it in plastic wrap to keep it clean.

"Your turn!" Emily beamed as she gently slipped her foot back in her sandal. "It really wasn't that bad."

"Says you!" JJ replied as she changed seats with the brunette. "If I cry you have to swear not to tell anyone!"

Emily made a cross over her heart, "I swear."

Dean chuckled at the conversation, "You did really well Emily. Let's see if JJ can stay as stoic." He prepared a second stencil and went through the process of applying it. Once it had dried he took his place at the tattoo machine and loaded a fresh needle before dipping it in a fresh pot of black ink. He started with small lines, much like he had done with Emily and JJ squeezed Emily's hand tightly. She tried to breathe normally but the pain was more than she had expected.

"I thought you said it wasn't bad!" she squealed. 

"JJ, you're doing great. Just look at me," Emily reminded. "You remember the story about the kittens? Think of the kittens, Jay! Think of the kittens!"

Dean laughed again, "I feel like I need to hear the story about the kittens."

"It was a story she once told me when I was freaking out when we were kids. It was some stupid fairytale about a princess with a thing for saving kittens. It was dumb really but we still tell each other that story in times of stress," JJ explained. "It has become a staple in our friendship."

"That's rad," Dean smiled. "You guys are so much more chill than most of the college girls around here. Do you guys go to Pitt?"

"She does," Emily replied, seeing as JJ was too busy focusing on her breathing. "I go to Columbia but I'm in town for spring break"

"Cool, what else do you guys have planned for the week?" he asked as he worked.

"A whole lot of nothing," Emily stated as she squeezed JJ's hand. "Maybe go out to the hill and party"

JJ opened one of her eyes, "Us? Party?"

"I knew that would get your attention," Emily grinned. "No, in all honesty I see a lot of Netflix in our future. I'm just glad to get off campus for a week."

"Well, you're done," Dean said as she wiped JJ's foot clean.

"Already?"

"Yep," he cleaned her up and wrapped her foot to match Emily's. "Thanks for coming in you guys, Roger will take care of payment and go over after care with you guys up front."

The girls thanked him and went up front. Roger greeted them kindly and gave them each a sheet of after care instructions. They paid and headed out the door, arm in arm. 

"I cannot believe you talked me into this," Emily said as they walked back to her car.

"I love them," JJ smiled.

"I do too."

They made it back to JJ's place and spent the rest of the afternoon caught up in a marathon of Villainous Thoughts, which was Emily's favorite show. She was trying to explain to JJ that she wanted to become a profiler with the FBI when she got out of school. JJ had never seen it but agreed to binge it once she saw how excited Emily was. 

"Well, I know what we're doing the rest of the week," JJ joked as they finished season one. "I cannot believe we just went through an entire season in one sitting."

"Told you it was addictive," Emily smiled. "I'm whipped."

"Me too," JJ yawned. They moved into the bedroom and JJ slipped out of her jeans and into her sleep shorts. Emily caught sight of the scars down her thigh and frowned slightly. JJ had gone through a period of self harm her freshman year at Pitt and she had been open about it with Emily when it was going on but it still hurt Emily to see the scars. She wished she could have been there for JJ in her time of need.

"They aren't your fault," JJ said as she caught Emily staring.

"I'm sorry," Emily stated. "I didn't mean to stare."

"There's nothing to be sorry for, I'm not sorry about them. My scars tell my story. Just like these," JJ pulled up the sleeves of her hoodie to show the long lines which adorned either wrist. "It's part of who I am. It reminds me of how far I've come."

"You're so brave, JJ."

JJ shrugged, "I'm glad you think so."

"I know so," Emily reminded. "You've always been the bravest person I know."

"Speaking of how far I've come, Mom sent me a ton of old pics of us from high school!" JJ went to her nightstand and pulled out an envelope. She handed them to Emily as the brunette started sifting through the prints. 

"Oh god," Emily laughed. "Homecoming!"

JJ nodded, "That dick never saw it coming." They reminisced about the night Emily had first defended JJ's honor by breaking another student's nose. "I had such a crush on you after that," JJ laughed.

Emily blushed, "What?"

"I had such a crush on you in high school," JJ confessed as her laughter died out and she smiled at Emily.

"Really?" It wasn't like Emily had never thought about it. She had always been smitten with JJ but it had never seemed appropriate. Senior year had been enough of an emotional roller coaster for the pair, she never wanted to add to their fragile relationship by admitting her feelings for the blonde. However, things were different now. They were older, JJ was stable, they had their own lives they had grown into. Emily couldn't deny she still had some sort of romantic feelings for JJ after all the years. 

"Do you remember that night? In the car?" JJ asked.

Emily knew what she was hinting at. That night in the car JJ had kissed her. It was the first time they had had real physical contact and Emily had never forgotten how her heart fluttered in that moment. She remembered everything about it, it had been her first kiss. How could she ever forget it? But she wasn't ready to admit all of that to JJ, from fear it may scare her away. So instead Emily simply shrugged, "I don't remember really. I just know I wanted to get out of there before that jackass came after us."

JJ frowned at the idea of Emily not remembering what she had always thought had been a special moment between them. She placed her hand on Emily's and whispered, "I kissed you."

"Oh," Emily replied non nonchalantly. 

"Maybe you need a reminder," JJ said quietly.

Their eyes locked as they slowly closed the distance. Emily felt their lips meet as a heat flushed her skin. Her eyes fluttered closed as she pressed against JJ's mouth. JJ opened her lips to grant passage. Emily took the hint as her hands found their way to either side of JJ's face. The kiss lingered on her lips as Emily pulled away slowly, still holding JJ's cheeks. JJ smiled at her, blushing.

"I think I would have remembered that," Emily confessed as she licked her lips.

"Now, you can remember this," JJ said softly. She closed her eyes and met Emily's lips again. Her hands found their way to Emily's had and she pulled her in closer. Emily relaxed into the kiss and got lost in the moment. When they finally pulled back to catch their breaths Emily's lips were swollen and raw. 

"I will definitely remember _that_ ," Emily said through ragged breaths. 

"So will I," JJ admitted. "Do you have any idea how long I've wanted to do that?"

Emily smiled, "Probably not as long as I have."

Emily wrapped JJ in her arms and pulled her close, planted a chaste kiss on her lips. "This could be complicated."

"I don't mind complicated," JJ replied with a smile.

"Good, neither do I."

The rest of the week was spent wrapped in each other's arms exchanging long, fervent kisses and romantic words. When it came time for Emily to head home she pouted as JJ walked her to her car, fingers intertwined. 

"I don't want to go," Emily whined. 

"You have to go or else how am I supposed to miss you?" JJ smiled as she kissed Emily on the lips.

"I just don't want to leave you," Emily said with a sigh. "What if I leave and you meet someone? What if there is some great guy who is waiting to sweep you off your feet and I'm not here?"

JJ stifled a laugh seeing that Emily was being serious. "Em, it has always been you. It's been you for five years. You going back to Columbia isn't going to change that. This week was more than I could have ever hoped for. I can't promise it won't be messy or complicated but I can promise I'm not going anywhere. I'll be here waiting for you. Nothing will change that."

"Promise?" Emily asked sheepishly. 

"I swear on Tumbles the kitten," JJ confirmed.

Emily laughed, that was the most serious promise either of them could make to each other. She knew she was over thinking things but she was still hesitant to leave. "I'll be waiting for you too," she replied. 

They kissed goodbye and Emily got in her car and headed back to campus. She spent the six hour drive going over every detail of the past week. Every touch, every kiss, every word that had been exchanged. She knew things would be difficult but she was willing to find out what they could have together. She also noted the ridiculous grin which had been plastered on her face for the past seven days and which showed no sign of dissipating anytime soon.

Perhaps, this time they could both be happy. After five years, they could be happy _together._


End file.
